Memento Youri - ready or not

[deuceoftears]

You were halfway convinced that all that existed of the universe was this suite. If you stepped outside, you would fall into an infinite cushioning darkness.

The conviction must have shown in your face. Kujen said, “I wasn’t keeping you prisoner out of spite. Given your notoriety, I thought it best for you to be kept away from random Kel, or assassins for that matter, until you got your bearings. Any idea what you’re saying to your officers?”

“Yes,” you lied. You had a speech; had even run it by Dhanneth. The original one had been no good, so you'd scrambled to write an appropriate substitution.

“I still think you should wear your medals, sir,” Dhanneth said.

You had originally demurred on the grounds that the last thing a mass murderer should flaunt was a bunch of medals for things you couldn’t remember doing. If Dhanneth was bringing it up in front of Kujen, however, he felt strongly enough about the matter to corner you into it. You looked at him with renewed respect.

Kujen figured it out immediately. “The major is right, you know. The Kel will respond better if they see that you take pride in your rank.”

That was perilously close to what Dhanneth had said, although you hadn’t believed him. “I didn’t see any medals when I searched the drawers,” you said, “and I wouldn’t know how to put them in the right order.”

“Your uniform does that for you,” Kujen said. “It reads the record out of your profile. No, really. Direct it to enter full formal, medals included.”

You did so and were treated to the bizarre sight of your uniform changing, down to the sudden appearance of rows of medals beneath the general’s wings and Shuos eye. “I bet this makes for some interesting pranks,” you said.

“You’re not the first person to think of that. There’s some crypto involved so that people can’t randomly impersonate people, but the augment takes care of that so you don’t have to think about it.” Kujen looked you over critically, then nodded. “It’ll do.”

After an abbreviated breakfast, they set out for the conference.

At last they arrived at an enormous pair of doors. You could have sworn that they materialized between one step and the next. The doors sheened black with a faint silver scatter as of stars, marked with the Nirai voidmoth emblem in brighter silver. They slid open at Kujen’s approach, unnervingly noiseless.

You didn’t pause or look left or right, up or down, as you followed Kujen across the threshold, despite the way your back prickled. You had to get this right. There was no other option. Behind you, you heard Dhanneth’s ragged breathing, but you didn’t dare look around to see what the matter was.

Kujen had led them into a hall with a high arched ceiling and pillars of black veined with gold. More than the lanterns with their trapped, frantic moth-shapes throwing irregular shadows across the dark walls, you noticed the Kel commanders, a row about ten across and ten deep.

The Kel commanders had, almost as one, knelt before Kujen. Your othersense was momentarily dizzied by the coordinated movement. Although the commanders’ attention should have been focused on the hexarch, you couldn’t escape their consternation. Some of it was directed at you, revulsion so strong you could feel its pressure. But some of them were eyeing Dhanneth with unambiguous shock. Did they consider Dhanneth to have sold out by serving you?

The temperature in the hall should have been comfortable, but all you could think of was winter, bleak winds in a world frozen dark. There were black-and-gold uniforms everywhere, including your own. You craved any splash of color as relief from the monotony of all the black.

“I trust everyone slept well,” Kujen said. The light in his eyes suggested that he knew exactly what effect this setup was having on the Kel. “I promised you a new general. Here he is.” He waved a hand, indicating that everyone should stand.

You hadn’t counted on such an abrupt introduction. The six staff heads in front exchanged stony glances. The commanders had faces as still and blank as ice. You had no idea why you were smiling, or what to say, even if you'd memorized that speech beforehand. Not saying anything wasn’t an option, either, even in the face of their muted hostility. So you opened your mouth—

“You know my name,” you said with a bite of humor. “You don’t seem to have done a very good job executing me.”

His gaze was drawn immediately to the commander you recognized as Kel Talaw. Talaw was a stocky alt whose eyes narrowed as they stared back at you. And Talaw’s hostility wasn’t muted at all. Their face blazed with naked hatred even as the entire hall plunged stone-silent.

Fuck, you thought. What had possessed You to say that? Especially in that tone of voice?

You couldn’t take it back. You couldn’t apologize. That would only make you look weak. Better to be a callous bastard than to lose credibility.

Besides, there was no getting around the fact that everyone knew more about Hellspin Fortress than you did. Trying to win the Kel over with charm would have been disastrous anyway. At least they had no idea what was going on inside your head. You would just have to lie too well for them to deduce how out of your depth you were. The sad thing was that the lie was better for morale.

Bad sign: Kujen’s eyes had crinkled faintly in approval. The expression only lasted a fraction of a second, but you had been watching for his reaction.

Fine. You let your smile narrow. “I understand there was an earlier failure of discipline in the hexarch’s direction.” Stupid to pretend it hadn’t happened; might as well address it head-on. “If you feel like betraying someone, you can start with me instead.” Great. You had just challenged all the commanders to duels or the next best thing, and a lot of the Kel excelled at dueling, but you couldn’t stop. “We’re going to be fighting other Kel. Is this going to be an issue?”

You wished you could blame the uniform for messing with your head, but you knew better.

Commander Nihara Keru raised her head: Tactical Two. The plainness of her face was offset by her startling pale gray eyes. Everyone else in the front row had brown eyes. “I would speak, sir,” she said. Her voice, high and crisp, had its own lilt of humor.

She might be the first person besides Kujen who didn’t hate You, not that you had met many people yet. That also made her a potential threat. Don’t pause, don’t pause, don’t pause. “Commander Nihara Keru,” you said. Her eyebrows flicked up: she hadn’t been sure you'd know her name, although you had made a point of memorizing names and faces. “Say what’s on your mind.”

Talaw’s mouth twisted. The rest of the commanders, less senior than Talaw or Nihara, were grimly attentive. For that matter, the staff heads looked even more uncomfortable. you were trying to determine whether Talaw and Nihara disliked each other. If so, your life had gotten more interesting.

“Sir,” Nihara said, “what are our objectives? This is a large swarm, but it’s an immense galaxy.”

You already liked her. “Our purpose is calendrical warfare to reunify the hexarchate so it can stand against incursions from foreigners,” you said, meeting her eyes. you were lying about this, too. Kujen’s strategic notes had suggested that he cared about the restoration of the hexarchate’s historical boundaries, but, weirdly, not so much about the occasional trifling invasion. You would have to figure out what that implied later.

He continued talking. “We will start with attacks to realign the calendar in the Fissure”—the border region contested by the Compact and some smaller states, where the high calendar had lost its dominance—“and expand from there. There’s only this one swarm to start with, but I killed an entire army of you once and I got back up, and you’re the fucking military faction. I say we have a chance. But it’s a better chance if we’re all pointed in the same direction.”

There was a stir at that. You couldn’t believe you'd just joked about massacring Kel, except at this point there wasn’t anything you wouldn’t have believed about yourself.

Nihara interrupted by laughing. Talaw’s mouth tightened in disapproval. “All right, sir,” Nihara said. “That’s fair.”

“Charmed,” you said. “Major, if you’d bring up the map—”