[Jedao, who had all his moral principles sorted out without having ever experienced a scrap of sincere human kindness by the tender age of four weeks, rather thinks Nat is old enough to have learned already if he was ever going to. But then, he could be wrong.]

I don't think you're absolving him. I just...I think it's more frustrating for you, because you wanted to confront him with what he'd lost by this. But -

[Jedao's voice is softer now. He can feel the edges and the silk simultaneously, and he's turning his focus back to Hakkai, with careful effort.]

But it was something he forfeited deliberately, because he never valued it. And that's - that's just fucking awful, isn't it. For someone to decide on purpose that your kindness - offered on purpose, knowing the risk, despite the difficulty - to decide it's worthless to him.

[The poison will clear from Hakkai's body a lot sooner than that sting, Jedao is sure.]

I'm so fucking sorry, Hakkai-shei.

[The first time he's put the affectionate honorific with the new name.]