Hakkai wishes for his cold teacup for a moment, to give his hands something to do other than squeeze each other until his fingers go numb. It's on the table, and so he deliberately relaxes his grip instead, finger by finger.

"I am nothing that shines." His voice is matter-of-fact, utterly level.

It's not that the younger Jedao had seen him that way that bothers him, although it had made him -- wonder, how different it is for Jedao to see a fiancé and a lover.

It's that his Jedao had said it, all affectionate sincerity, as if of course Hakkai was so bright as to dazzle unaccustomed eyes.