Just shudders out a long, soft breath. "You're so kind to me," he says softly.
The other thing he wants is to let Talaw remember it both ways, or at least give them a choice about it, but that's selfish too; he doesn't want to give up being known by one of the only people who was kind to him before, even if they sort of hated him too, even if they would never meet again. He has to, though, if he's going to save them all without undoing Revenant's freedom. He has to accept that miracles have a cost. But it's one he can bear.
"I love you, too," Gonou murmurs, and brushes a kiss against his forehead. "You do know I'm copying most of my kindness from you?"
Well, and Xie Lian. But the portion he's learned from Jedao is the portion that's better at handling important people's feelings gently, when he sees them.
"A-plus," Gonou corrects, affecting a haughty tone, and lets his hand slip down from Jedao's hair to his back to enable a proper, tight embrace. "I'm an overachiever."
Gonou shakes his head, pressing his face into Jedao's hair.
"No-- you did," he murmurs, taking a deep breath. "I just needed someone to understand why it bothered me."
Without having to put it into words. He still isn't sure what he'd say if he did have to put it into words; he knows he's going to have to talk to Jon again, but he's glad it's not just yet.
"Also I wanted to hold you," he adds, wryly self-conscious.
"I spent a long time half dreading finding out that I was a copy, half really hoping I was a human copy," he says quietly, twisting his fingers a little in Gonou's shirt.
Well, days. A few weeks at most. But it felt long at the time. And always his mothsense in the back of his head, hard to disregard.
"It's not the same, but. I get it." Even if he isn't sure how to say what it is either.
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The other thing he wants is to let Talaw remember it both ways, or at least give them a choice about it, but that's selfish too; he doesn't want to give up being known by one of the only people who was kind to him before, even if they sort of hated him too, even if they would never meet again. He has to, though, if he's going to save them all without undoing Revenant's freedom. He has to accept that miracles have a cost. But it's one he can bear.
"I love you."
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Well, and Xie Lian. But the portion he's learned from Jedao is the portion that's better at handling important people's feelings gently, when he sees them.
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"You came to see me. I feel like I didn't even do anything," he points out.
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"No-- you did," he murmurs, taking a deep breath. "I just needed someone to understand why it bothered me."
Without having to put it into words. He still isn't sure what he'd say if he did have to put it into words; he knows he's going to have to talk to Jon again, but he's glad it's not just yet.
"Also I wanted to hold you," he adds, wryly self-conscious.
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Well, days. A few weeks at most. But it felt long at the time. And always his mothsense in the back of his head, hard to disregard.
"It's not the same, but. I get it." Even if he isn't sure how to say what it is either.
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He drops a kiss on Jedao's forehead.
"I still don't think it's right to use that as a punishment," he mutters. Maybe it'll work for Daniel, who knows -- but it's not right.