Jedao is on the couch with his legs drawn up, looking smaller in an oversized black hoodie. The tea set is out and only one cup, untouched and hot, of a blend Gonou liked before.
"Hello," Gonou says, and heads directly for the couch, settling onto it right alongside Jedao and immediately leaning in against him. He ducks his head down to tuck it onto Jedao's shoulder.
His feet are still on the floor, but only because he's still wearing his shoes, and he couldn't possibly put those on a piece of furniture. But he --
-- very much feels the need to cling to someone, right now.
"When they take the ship, the Lyfe Boat won't be able to keep me alive anymore," Gonou says bleakly. He's listened through everything the Admiral had said about it, even if he hadn't quite been able to bring himself to speak.
That idea -- he wants to, but that would be worse.
He nestles further into the circle of Jedao's arm.
"I'm furious," he adds, his voice quiet, intimate, a little sad. He's staring at the thread of steam curling up from the teacup on the table.
It's the timing that's the most infuriating thing. If only he'd had time to really try for graduation. Or, if only he hadn't had enough time to care....
Still watching the steam, Gonou says, "I won't die. I don't plan on giving up."
Both of them know exactly what it feels like to be left behind, he thinks, and lifts one hand to put it over Jedao's on his shoulder. He can face the idea of oblivion more calmly than he'd be able to face the thought of living through another loss, and he's lucky that Jedao is a warden--
-- but because of that, he can be livid that they're putting Jedao in that worse position.
"After all this work, if they want me dead, they'll have to fight," he adds mildly, and squeezes Jedao's hand.
"I keep trying to actually write the stupid report cards. They seem so - officious. Maybe they'd read them. Case projections for why everyone I know is, objectively deserving of a chance, why they're a - a good investment."
"Maybe they will read them." It does sound officious. Cold and practical, maybe just the thing to catch the attention of an Authority who doesn't like the mess and chaos of the Admiral's approach to risky bets.
It also sounds like an awful way for a kind person to think about his friends, Gonou reflects, and shifts enough so that he can look up at Jedao's face, the foreshortened angle making the tension in his jaw the clearest aspect of it.
"I could help," he adds, "for the ones I know, anyway."
"Which is where they're trying to go," Gonou points out. It is different. He frowns in thought at the question. "I've talked to him a few times, but I don't think I know him that well. Isn't he Kiryu's inmate?"
"Mm." He settles in, considering the question, considering what he knows about Norton-- not, truly, as much as he wishes he did in order to find a way to help spin this. He doesn't know what the underlying issues truly might be.
"...He's resilient, creative and decisive," he says. "Although he can make decisions that lead to harm, he's..."
Well, that confession post had sounded very reluctant, but.
"...learning to admit his mistakes and correct them. He's a good prospect for ongoing improvement and working hard on his problems."
"He's demonstrated serious consideration for the ramifications of moral principles in complex situations," Jedao reels off, thinking of Norton's discussion of what kinds of self-defense might be acceptable against Elias.
"I think you're right." Gonou makes a thoughtful sound. "Ah... and I think we could also say that he's shown interest in mentoring other inmates and taking on a position of responsibility."
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"Hey."
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His feet are still on the floor, but only because he's still wearing his shoes, and he couldn't possibly put those on a piece of furniture. But he --
-- very much feels the need to cling to someone, right now.
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"You want to try to steal a Lyfe Boat?" he asks. He doesn't need his deal. Maybe he can navigate the ether. Maybe.
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That idea -- he wants to, but that would be worse.
He nestles further into the circle of Jedao's arm.
"I'm furious," he adds, his voice quiet, intimate, a little sad. He's staring at the thread of steam curling up from the teacup on the table.
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"I hate this," he agrees.
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Still watching the steam, Gonou says, "I won't die. I don't plan on giving up."
Both of them know exactly what it feels like to be left behind, he thinks, and lifts one hand to put it over Jedao's on his shoulder. He can face the idea of oblivion more calmly than he'd be able to face the thought of living through another loss, and he's lucky that Jedao is a warden--
-- but because of that, he can be livid that they're putting Jedao in that worse position.
"After all this work, if they want me dead, they'll have to fight," he adds mildly, and squeezes Jedao's hand.
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It's been making him feel a little sick.
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It also sounds like an awful way for a kind person to think about his friends, Gonou reflects, and shifts enough so that he can look up at Jedao's face, the foreshortened angle making the tension in his jaw the clearest aspect of it.
"I could help," he adds, "for the ones I know, anyway."
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He pulls his slate out one-handed from beneath the cushions.
"Do you know Norton at all?" Jedao likes him immensely, feels like he instinctively recognizes the type, but doesn't actually know much about him.
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There's an ache in his voice, something like understanding and something like homesickness, nothing at all like his tone saying General Shuos Jedao.
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"...He's resilient, creative and decisive," he says. "Although he can make decisions that lead to harm, he's..."
Well, that confession post had sounded very reluctant, but.
"...learning to admit his mistakes and correct them. He's a good prospect for ongoing improvement and working hard on his problems."
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That apology was not coming from someone strictly unwilling to leave his comfort zone.
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