Jedao wraps his towel under his armpits, a habit he got into reflexively covering his (not his) chest scars, despite the lack of breasts to be modest about. He holds the cup in both hands, like someone drinking coffee or hot chocolate on a cold night, savoring the heat, waiting for Gonou's to be ready before taking a sip.
With white tea, Gonou only waits another minute before pouring his own cup, settling beside Jedao with the cup in his hands in turn.
"...so temperature and nice smells are good," he says, thoughtfully, letting their shoulders brush together. "But as little flavor as possible. Texture?"
Jedao drops his eyes to his teacup, turning it around in his hands.
"Texture is alright. It's like...something else to focus on?" Shen Wei has made him plain tofu a few times, and the silkiness is interesting, at least. "Maybe not...chewy." Since that would just mean being in his mouth longer.
"Mm," Gonou says, mild and thoughtful. Easy to eat, high calorie, low flavor, maybe perfumed. "Would it bother you, if I tried making a few things for you, from... time to time?"
The glance he shoots Jedao is a little uncertain: almost nervous, although he's covering it well. He suspects it will bother him, but it's something he does wish he could do.
Jedao resists the urge to fidget. "I just...I don't want you to get your hopes up too much," he says after a pause that's a little too long. "I don't want it to be a whole project."
He looks down into his teacup, leaning just a little more firmly against Jedao's shoulder. "I, ah. Don't want to make you uncomfortable. But something little, from time to time, maybe?"
Jedao lets him be a caretaker so often: he does know it's ridiculous. But it bothers him, that there isn't anything that's easier for Jedao to eat, when he does in fact still have to eat.
"I don't need you to like it," Gonou says: not instantly, because he doesn't want it to sound thoughtless, but with a solid certainty. "This isn't -- I don't want it to seem like I want to fix you. I want to use a skill I have to make something that's miserable a little easier for you. That's all.
If Gonou gets intense about it, Jedao knows he won't want to tell him no. Won't want to hurt him, taking away hope for something he wants, that Jedao has no confidence of ever being able to give without a deal. He can promise anyway, though, a guardrail against himself.
"New subject," Gonou agrees, and looks thoughtfully down at his tea for a moment. "I should try knitting something new this summer. I don't think the sock idea is going to work for me unless I find someone who needs socks and has feet at no more than a forty-five degree angle to their ankles...."
"Do you do any arts besides knitting?" he wonders, idly. "A companion tried to teach me felting, once."
Jedao has picked up a lot of amateur skills from sex professionals his various Hexarchs have sent to keep him supposedly sane. At this point Jedao thinks Mikodez thinks it's at least social interaction, and picks them more for their hobbies than out of any hope that Jedao would eventually sleep with any of them.
"No, it's just knitting and sketching. I don't have any idea how felt is made," Gonou admits with an intrigued lilt in his voice. "You could show me?"
He reaches out to catch Jedao's little finger with his own, not quite holding hands, but a little gesture towards it that won't keep either of them from being able to hold a teacup.
"I imagine that wasn't the part that bothered you." He remembers Jedao taking his clawed hand, pressing one claw so carefully against his own flesh until a single inky drop of blood slipped free: that had been his confession. So, a needle-stick...
Well. Not the sort of thing he'd welcome with a stranger.
Gonou considers.
"... well, maybe I could find a book, in that case. If you'd like to learn together. I've seen little felt dolls, they're very cute."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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"...so temperature and nice smells are good," he says, thoughtfully, letting their shoulders brush together. "But as little flavor as possible. Texture?"
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"Texture is alright. It's like...something else to focus on?" Shen Wei has made him plain tofu a few times, and the silkiness is interesting, at least. "Maybe not...chewy." Since that would just mean being in his mouth longer.
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The glance he shoots Jedao is a little uncertain: almost nervous, although he's covering it well. He suspects it will bother him, but it's something he does wish he could do.
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Jedao lets him be a caretaker so often: he does know it's ridiculous. But it bothers him, that there isn't anything that's easier for Jedao to eat, when he does in fact still have to eat.
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"It... well. I know eating's difficult for you. If there is anything I can do to make it easier, I want to."
He pauses briefly, and lets his gaze fall back down to his teacup, and adds, "And it does mean a lot to me to be able to cook for people."
It had felt slightly too much like a lie, implying that it's entirely for Jedao's benefit.
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He's not going to like it, but he does have to eat something. It might as well be things Gonou makes, as long as he wont be too disappointed.
"Protein is good. I have options for bland carbs - I'll just take sugar pills on really bad days, sometimes - but I need protein, too."
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"But it's easier than most of what's in the cafeteria."
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He takes a sip of his tea, before it gets too cold, and murmurs, "Anything else, or -- change of subject?"
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He looks away again.
"I need you to not need me to like it. That's -" That's all, he wants to say. But it's not a small thing. "That's the condition." For trying.
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"Tell me if I get too intense about it?"
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If Gonou gets intense about it, Jedao knows he won't want to tell him no. Won't want to hurt him, taking away hope for something he wants, that Jedao has no confidence of ever being able to give without a deal. He can promise anyway, though, a guardrail against himself.
"New subject now, please?"
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"Tea cozies?" he suggests, with no idea of what makes a knitting project easy or hard.
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Well, something like that. Perhaps anatomical metaphors for teapots aren't working out very well.
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Jedao has picked up a lot of amateur skills from sex professionals his various Hexarchs have sent to keep him supposedly sane. At this point Jedao thinks Mikodez thinks it's at least social interaction, and picks them more for their hobbies than out of any hope that Jedao would eventually sleep with any of them.
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He reaches out to catch Jedao's little finger with his own, not quite holding hands, but a little gesture towards it that won't keep either of them from being able to hold a teacup.
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He lifts his teacup to his lips with his free hand, giving Jedao a wry glance over the rim.
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Rather than a guest seeing his black ichor on the wool.
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Well. Not the sort of thing he'd welcome with a stranger.
Gonou considers.
"... well, maybe I could find a book, in that case. If you'd like to learn together. I've seen little felt dolls, they're very cute."
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He cuts himself off.
"Anyway. I'll learn with you if you like."
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