"Ohohooo, my poor dietarily challenged friend. Cheese is the stuff of gods." He counts his fingers out with flicks of his wrist as he counts off the ways. "You can grill it in a sandwich, deep fry it in batter, melt it so you can dip other food into it! It's got infinite possibilities!"
"I'm not gonna make you eat any of it," he comments dryly. Takes a moment to kick a large rock from underfoot and watch it roll down the gentle slope of their path. "But in my opinion? I reckon a good enough bowl of mac and cheese with the works is better than sex."
He's aware that humans enjoy human food. He vaguely remembers expecting food to be pleasant, before finding out that it isn't. But he's had mac and cheese, easy-to-prep barge staple that it is, and a theoretically easy-to-consume bomb of calories and dairy protein that would fulfill all his promises to Hemiola about getting enough to eat every day.
"Oh, yeah, I've had his cookies before," he comments cheerfully. "Don't think I've had a proper dinner from him yet, though. Or not in a while, for sure."
"We'll make it happen. There's another bigger chamber coming up -"
Their path has intersected with the underground river again, or maybe there's more than one. A waterfall descends from the middle of the high ceiling, and crystals the size of children line the water's edge.
Eiffel's about to make a smart comment, but then he sees the room and he's stunned into silence.
"...holy crap..."
It's beautiful, genuinely, in a way Eiffel doesn't really have the elitist background to be able to truly analyse, but he appreciates it in the depths of his shrivelled soul.
He moves towards the waterfall, careful to look down so he doesn't slip near the water, until he can stand by one of the crystals with one hand on it and his torch slack in the other; when he shifts his grip, it twists his wrist in a way where the light refracts through the crystal, sending rainbow lights sparkling through the spray of the waterfall.
Jedao makes a sound that might be called a squeak of delight.
"Eiffel! Do it again!" Jedao skitters over to the edge himself, carefully leaning over some of the less-razor-sharp crystals to get a look at the equally clear water beyond them. Like the main cavern, it has intricate lace-like glass diatoms floating in a delicate surface layer, drifting with the current, in this case revealing a spiral flow around the bottom of the waterfall, with tiny opalescent fish darting in between.
He saw it too, and the way he jumps slightly in surprise makes the light flick away from the crystals, but he can put two and two together as he beams.
"Yeah yeah yeah, hold on-!" He finds a good position to stand him and brace himself, and presses the torch deliberately against the flat part of a crystal.
And it's not just through the one: his torch refracts through the connecting crystals too, on all sorts of angles, and the way the refractions shoot out makes it look like they're in a glittering starscape, even in the shallow parts of the water pooling below the falls. And Arthur gives a breathless little laugh of delight.
Eiffel just beams, bright and genuine in a way that rarely comes through. In a way that isn't, for five minutes, touched by the deep exhaustion that dwells in his core.
"Never," he breathes, emphatically. "This is incredible."
"I feel like I could watch this for ages," Jedao whispers, shining his own light for the first time, skating across the gently turning face of a giant diatom, fluorescing a soft kaleidoscopic blue.
"One of those once in a lifetime opportunities people always go on about," he mumbles. He glances down at his torch, and twists it gently, turning it in his hand while it's pressed against the crystal, and watches the lights shift in halting patterns in time with his wrist. "Nice that I can cross spelunking off my bucket list."
There's a splash and a fluting whistle, and a little translucent frog hops out of the water and onto the diatom, sitting as if it were a lily pad. Jedao watches it, a little bit entranced, but also scoots along the crystals until he can lean gently against Eiffel's shoulder.
Eiffel tracks the frog as well (and fails to hide how the small plib sound of it jumping out of the water makes him jump a little), and when Jedao presses into him he nudges back into him with a warm smile.
Jedao pulls out his slate and takes a few minutes of video, as the water cascades through the lightshow of the crystal refraction, and the frog's whistling call echoes off the high cavern walls.
"I guess we should keep going for that dust..." Jedao allows, eventually.
"Yeheah, awesome!" He pushes off the crystals carefully, and his trainers are very much not made for wetworks so there's extra care taken, but he'll make sure to leave the path free for Jedao to go first and be his big tough bodyguard. "Think we'll find where the rest of that frog's cousins all went?"
"He's their intrepid hero," he says dryly. "Gonna go back to Frogtopolis and tell everyone about how he met the weird giants with their pink and yellow skin covered in glowing lights, all shaggy like the Iron Snails."
It's an easy thoughtless monologue, just his mouth running as he focuses on his feet. "All the other frogs are never gonna believe him."
"Do you think people have ever been down here before?" Jedao asks, taking the lower branch as their path splits. Ruffles of fungus cluster along the edges of the path or in grooves in the walls, glowing blue-green mushroom caps, shaggy white lion's man puffs, concentric turkey tails glinting copper, and stranger pink and purple shapes, branching like thickets of dry coral.
"Oh, hell no. This place hasn't been turned into a strip mine yet. You think all this cool crap would still be growing if there was someone who could turn a profit on it in the nearby solar system?"
He makes a small hop over a hole and still manages to stumble when he lands - but that's let his own fault and more that when he does land, a gentle rumble rolls through the cave around them, and he freezes instantly.
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"Ohohooo, my poor dietarily challenged friend. Cheese is the stuff of gods." He counts his fingers out with flicks of his wrist as he counts off the ways. "You can grill it in a sandwich, deep fry it in batter, melt it so you can dip other food into it! It's got infinite possibilities!"
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"...great," he manages, unconvincingly.
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"I'm not gonna make you eat any of it," he comments dryly. Takes a moment to kick a large rock from underfoot and watch it roll down the gentle slope of their path. "But in my opinion? I reckon a good enough bowl of mac and cheese with the works is better than sex."
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Like slugs, Eiffel!
He's aware that humans enjoy human food. He vaguely remembers expecting food to be pleasant, before finding out that it isn't. But he's had mac and cheese, easy-to-prep barge staple that it is, and a theoretically easy-to-consume bomb of calories and dairy protein that would fulfill all his promises to Hemiola about getting enough to eat every day.
"You are not having sex correctly."
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"You know, Gonou really likes cooking for people he cares about. We should get him to cook for you."
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Their path has intersected with the underground river again, or maybe there's more than one. A waterfall descends from the middle of the high ceiling, and crystals the size of children line the water's edge.
"...whoa..."
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"...holy crap..."
It's beautiful, genuinely, in a way Eiffel doesn't really have the elitist background to be able to truly analyse, but he appreciates it in the depths of his shrivelled soul.
He moves towards the waterfall, careful to look down so he doesn't slip near the water, until he can stand by one of the crystals with one hand on it and his torch slack in the other; when he shifts his grip, it twists his wrist in a way where the light refracts through the crystal, sending rainbow lights sparkling through the spray of the waterfall.
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"Eiffel! Do it again!" Jedao skitters over to the edge himself, carefully leaning over some of the less-razor-sharp crystals to get a look at the equally clear water beyond them. Like the main cavern, it has intricate lace-like glass diatoms floating in a delicate surface layer, drifting with the current, in this case revealing a spiral flow around the bottom of the waterfall, with tiny opalescent fish darting in between.
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"Yeah yeah yeah, hold on-!" He finds a good position to stand him and brace himself, and presses the torch deliberately against the flat part of a crystal.
And it's not just through the one: his torch refracts through the connecting crystals too, on all sorts of angles, and the way the refractions shoot out makes it look like they're in a glittering starscape, even in the shallow parts of the water pooling below the falls. And Arthur gives a breathless little laugh of delight.
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For a few seconds Jedao just...takes it in.
"Have you ever seen anything like it before?"
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"Never," he breathes, emphatically. "This is incredible."
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"Thanks for coming with me," Jedao says softly.
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"Hey. What are friends for?"
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"I guess we should keep going for that dust..." Jedao allows, eventually.
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But this is the nicest waste of time on a mission Eiffel's had in literal years, so he's pretty okay with dawdling a bit longer.
"Which way next, Sonar?"
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And that way they can keep enjoying some of the scenery.
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They're hard for him to identify, almost exactly the same density as the water around them, ghostly flitting impressions on his mothsense.
"I guess that one just wanted to say hi."
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It's an easy thoughtless monologue, just his mouth running as he focuses on his feet. "All the other frogs are never gonna believe him."
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"Do you think people have ever been down here before?" Jedao asks, taking the lower branch as their path splits. Ruffles of fungus cluster along the edges of the path or in grooves in the walls, glowing blue-green mushroom caps, shaggy white lion's man puffs, concentric turkey tails glinting copper, and stranger pink and purple shapes, branching like thickets of dry coral.
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He makes a small hop over a hole and still manages to stumble when he lands - but that's let his own fault and more that when he does land, a gentle rumble rolls through the cave around them, and he freezes instantly.
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