deuceoftears | TLV IC Inbox

How did that go?

I think he was trying to bait me into asking him about it, and I don't understand why.

[Jedao thinks of Hakkai's tension right after Jedao's proposal, wishing someone would object just so he could make a point of defying - and possibly demolishing - them.]

I might have a guess, but it's hard to be sure without knowing what happened. Did you find out because of the signs?

No, it was a while ago, during port. Honestly, I've been trying not to think about it.

Why is that?

[She pauses, then sighs heavily.]

Because it doesn't actually matter who the notebook belongs to or why it was being used.

Lots of things don't matter in the grand scheme of things, but we still think about them.

Last year I would have obsessed over it. I'm not now. And I think he expected me to? Which made me a little angry.

Like with Hunter and the greenhouse, or different?

The same... concept as that, I guess? Frustration that people clearly don't think I'm capable of change and growth, even though that's literally what I'm here for. But it bothered me much less than Hunter and the greenhouse.

Not realizing you've changed isn't the same as thinking you're not capable of change.

[He points out mildly.]

Why less?

Well... um, maybe a couple reasons? I think he has more of a right to be suspicious about me with regards to the notebook than Hunter did with regards to the greenhouse. I mean, I actually violated Gonou's privacy, whereas Hunter just imagined that I had dark ulterior motives.

You know, it's not just that you're better at boundaries, now. You're also much better at considering other people's perspectives.

[That clearly throws her for a loop; she pause.]

I... guess? No, that's a good point; I never thought about it that way.

I'm not sorry for lying to you about something you had no particular right to know. But I am glad we got to be friends. That part wasn't a lie.

Thank you. I'm glad we got to be friends, too.

And I'm not angry with you.

No?

How are you feeling, then?

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