He shivers for it, eyes ducking down for a moment, sweet-shy rather really embarrassed.
"Help me to the couch?" he asks, wavering just a little as he finally lets go of the cuffs, flexing his hands a few times, Astarion wouldn't have come this close if he really didn't want to touch, Jedao figures.
"Of course. I'll have to touch your shoulders to support you, but - I don't think you'll mind that much, mm?
Just lean on me, darling."
He slides his arm under Jedao's, and he's definitely going to get some of that strange viscous blood on his sleeve, but so long as it isn't acidic he doesn't much mind. Couchward it is.
"No, I don't mind," Jedao agrees, and he makes another soft squirming noise in his throat when Astarion touches his raw skin, but he still leans into it. He doesn't really need the support, slightly wobbly or not, but he does need the touch, needs to feel grounded and wanted while he's exposed in multiple ways.
On the couch, he sits in the middle, on his side, one leg tucked under him, giving Astarion the choice to sit facing him, or behind him with continued access to his back.
Astarion sits behind him, keeping close, gently rubbing one hand up and
down his arm. The other gently traces a fingertip along the welts and
circles the bruises, bringing their sting up fresh.
"Fantastic," he murmurs, humming happily at the touch, although he scoots forward just a little so that he can lean forward and settle himself against the arm of the couch, head pillowed on his arms.
"Feeling...quiet? Good quiet. A little floaty." He's still hard, too, but there's nothing urgent about it. After a good thrashing his brain shuts up and there's nothing urgent about anything. It's a wonderful relief.
Astarion doesn't know of any word for what Jedao is feeling, and he's never
experienced it himself, but he's encountered it in other people. It sounds
nice. A temporary escape.
He knows better than to do anything much to disturb him, though eventually
his hand falls away from his back, the other just resting lightly on an
untouched patch of his shoulder.
"I feel...wonderful, actually. Better than I have for a long time."
Being able to drink his fill, finally, is a highlight of his time here
that nothing is likely to eclipse. But this is so close that it doesn't
feel like more than a white lie.
"I don't think I've ever met someone who hurts as beautifully as you do."
Jedao laughs softly, but there's no bitterness in it, the way there might have been if he felt less sweetly at ease.
"I was made for it, maybe. I can never decide if I want that to be true or not. But I'm glad you like it."
He twists and shuffles a little, turning around to lean back against the arm of the couch, squirming and shuddering a little as the grain of the upholstery scrapes the fresh welts on his back. He beams lazily at Astarion.
"I don't know that I've really had the luxury of developing a favourite,"
he admits - a comment with similar grim undertones. "I'm more used to
using a crop, or a belt when I had nothing else."
And a variety of other tools, for reasons that had everything to do with
pain and nothing to do with pleasure.
"But I do like a whip. The versatility of it, the - performance."
"Not knowing if it would be a stripe or the very point of the cracker -" Jedao shudders happily, then squeaks a little as the motion rubs his back against the couch a little more. He blushes red, hides his face in his hands for a moment before dropping them again, though he's still tinged pink.
"Even if you're just...kind of uncomfortable, but probably it's fine - if you do something because you feel obligated, or you're worried about - anything, I won't forgive myself for that," he clarifies. "I wouldn't trust myself to do this again. And I really want to do it again."
It helps, though, that Astarion already told him no over the cabin change.
Given all this preamble, he'd been almost certain there was a rather more intimate ask coming, and Astarion wouldn't have even had to bite his tongue before saying yes. He's very pretty, after all, and he's provided a much-needed pressure valve for some of his more bloodthirsty urges.
The request he does get is at once easier and also much more...alien. But he simply shifts closer, opening his arms to Jedao to let him make himself as comfortable (or tactically uncomfortable) as he pleases.
Jedao crawls over and settles into Astarion's arms, leaning his head back against Astarion's shoulder. The front of Astarion's shirt is a new texture against his back, and he hisses softly even as he relaxes into it.
Even pleasantly blissed out on endorphins as he is, part of him is still planning. He's not ever going to make the first real move - but he hasn't not noticed Astarion hard in his pants. It's easier to relax, now that he's had that promise.
"We could get a crop. Or something else, if you want to figure out a favorite."
"A crop would stop us needing to leave signs on the door," he chuckles,
reaching up to stroke Jedao's hair. "And I've a perfectly good pair of
hands, of course, though that's a little more...personal."
"I like personal," Jedao admits, breath catching for a moment, although whether it's at the thought or the touch is hard to tell. "What would like to do with your hands?"
His hand settles into a rhythm, fingertips lightly raking over his scalp,
over and and over.
"But I do wonder how you'd take to having your hair pulled, hard, right
at the roots. To feeling your skin caught and twisted between my
fingertips, until it gets so taut it starts to burn. And there are places
that can be made to truly hurt with so much less pressure than you'd
think."
Astarion doesn't remember his childhood at all, really; sometimes his reverie dredges up certain things, but he can never be sure if they're real or imagined. But, again - books, and other people's fantasies.
"It's a lot of people's first experience of being disciplined with anything harder than a sharp word," he murmurs. "That seems to leave quite a strong imprint - no pun intended. And...less abstractly, a person's backside is close to plenty of other sensitive equipment, and a heavy hand makes itself felt through all of it."
"I don't think I'd like to be punished," Jedao murmurs. He's...90% sure. The things he actually feels guilty about, no amount of getting hurt will put a scratch in; the idea of being told he's bad for anything else makes him feel...punchy. Belligerent and cold.
"Just pain." Still, the pure physicality does have an appeal.
Astarion briefly bluescreens just at the question, and it's just as well Jedao is facing away from him because the uncertainty does flicker onto his face for a few moments. Having any veto power in these pastimes is so completely alien as to be almost funny, and it'll take time for it to lose its novelty.
"Honestly, darling? The only things I'd rule out are things I doubt you'd want anyway. I don't find breaking bones or dislocating limbs to be especially pleasurable. And, ah-"
His internal censor needs to be wrestled to the fucking mat for the next sentence. Keep your whore mouth shut give them what they want that's what you're good for that's all you're good for
"There's certain...language I would prefer not to use. A little light degradation can have its place, of course, but I wouldn't want to cross over into anything too...demeaning."
I didn't expect the mating urge to take you so strongly, he remembers, vivid and obscurely crushing, in Revenant's dry, disdainful voice in his mind. My ship called me a slut once, he'd muttered to Hakkai, years later. I think I have a complex about it.
He can't see Astarion's face, but he can feel the twitches of muscle underneath it; it's enough to corroborate some of what he already suspects.
"That you for telling me," Jedao says softly, warmly. "It makes me feel safer, knowing what to be careful about."
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"Help me to the couch?" he asks, wavering just a little as he finally lets go of the cuffs, flexing his hands a few times, Astarion wouldn't have come this close if he really didn't want to touch, Jedao figures.
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"Of course. I'll have to touch your shoulders to support you, but - I don't think you'll mind that much, mm? Just lean on me, darling."
He slides his arm under Jedao's, and he's definitely going to get some of that strange viscous blood on his sleeve, but so long as it isn't acidic he doesn't much mind. Couchward it is.
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On the couch, he sits in the middle, on his side, one leg tucked under him, giving Astarion the choice to sit facing him, or behind him with continued access to his back.
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Astarion sits behind him, keeping close, gently rubbing one hand up and down his arm. The other gently traces a fingertip along the welts and circles the bruises, bringing their sting up fresh.
"Tell me how you're feeling, my sweet?"
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"Feeling...quiet? Good quiet. A little floaty." He's still hard, too, but there's nothing urgent about it. After a good thrashing his brain shuts up and there's nothing urgent about anything. It's a wonderful relief.
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Astarion doesn't know of any word for what Jedao is feeling, and he's never experienced it himself, but he's encountered it in other people. It sounds nice. A temporary escape.
He knows better than to do anything much to disturb him, though eventually his hand falls away from his back, the other just resting lightly on an untouched patch of his shoulder.
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"How about you?"
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"I feel...wonderful, actually. Better than I have for a long time."
Being able to drink his fill, finally, is a highlight of his time here that nothing is likely to eclipse. But this is so close that it doesn't feel like more than a white lie.
"I don't think I've ever met someone who hurts as beautifully as you do."
And that is true.
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"I was made for it, maybe. I can never decide if I want that to be true or not. But I'm glad you like it."
He twists and shuffles a little, turning around to lean back against the arm of the couch, squirming and shuddering a little as the grain of the upholstery scrapes the fresh welts on his back. He beams lazily at Astarion.
"Is the whip your favorite?"
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"I don't know that I've really had the luxury of developing a favourite," he admits - a comment with similar grim undertones. "I'm more used to using a crop, or a belt when I had nothing else."
And a variety of other tools, for reasons that had everything to do with pain and nothing to do with pleasure.
"But I do like a whip. The versatility of it, the - performance."
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"Anyway, you're marvelous."
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"Thank you, darling."
It's an easy compliment to accept - the kind he's been given many times before, albeit often by people who were about to die, or so he'd thought.
"Is there - anything I can do for you?"
Aftercare isn't his strongest suit - see 'about to die' - but he's read books, he knows it's a thing?
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"Will you promise me something? Promise me, if I ask for something you don't want to do, you'll tell me no."
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Astarion is silent for a few moments, weighing the question.
"...I promise."
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"Even if you're just...kind of uncomfortable, but probably it's fine - if you do something because you feel obligated, or you're worried about - anything, I won't forgive myself for that," he clarifies. "I wouldn't trust myself to do this again. And I really want to do it again."
It helps, though, that Astarion already told him no over the cabin change.
"Just hold me for a little while?"
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Given all this preamble, he'd been almost certain there was a rather more intimate ask coming, and Astarion wouldn't have even had to bite his tongue before saying yes. He's very pretty, after all, and he's provided a much-needed pressure valve for some of his more bloodthirsty urges.
The request he does get is at once easier and also much more...alien. But he simply shifts closer, opening his arms to Jedao to let him make himself as comfortable (or tactically uncomfortable) as he pleases.
"As long a while as you need, my dear."
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Even pleasantly blissed out on endorphins as he is, part of him is still planning. He's not ever going to make the first real move - but he hasn't not noticed Astarion hard in his pants. It's easier to relax, now that he's had that promise.
"We could get a crop. Or something else, if you want to figure out a favorite."
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"A crop would stop us needing to leave signs on the door," he chuckles, reaching up to stroke Jedao's hair. "And I've a perfectly good pair of hands, of course, though that's a little more...personal."
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"Mm. Spanking is cliché, obviously, but some things are classics for a reason."
His hand settles into a rhythm, fingertips lightly raking over his scalp, over and and over.
"But I do wonder how you'd take to having your hair pulled, hard, right at the roots. To feeling your skin caught and twisted between my fingertips, until it gets so taut it starts to burn. And there are places that can be made to truly hurt with so much less pressure than you'd think."
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"I'd like all of that, I think. Although I've never entirely understood why spanking is a classic."
His experience of punishment started with being shot in the head and confined to the brig; there's no childhood discipline rooted in his psyche.
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Astarion doesn't remember his childhood at all, really; sometimes his reverie dredges up certain things, but he can never be sure if they're real or imagined. But, again - books, and other people's fantasies.
"It's a lot of people's first experience of being disciplined with anything harder than a sharp word," he murmurs. "That seems to leave quite a strong imprint - no pun intended. And...less abstractly, a person's backside is close to plenty of other sensitive equipment, and a heavy hand makes itself felt through all of it."
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"Just pain." Still, the pure physicality does have an appeal.
"What things would you not like?"
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Astarion briefly bluescreens just at the question, and it's just as well Jedao is facing away from him because the uncertainty does flicker onto his face for a few moments. Having any veto power in these pastimes is so completely alien as to be almost funny, and it'll take time for it to lose its novelty.
"Honestly, darling? The only things I'd rule out are things I doubt you'd want anyway. I don't find breaking bones or dislocating limbs to be especially pleasurable. And, ah-"
His internal censor needs to be wrestled to the fucking mat for the next sentence. Keep your whore mouth shut give them what they want that's what you're good for that's all you're good for
"There's certain...language I would prefer not to use. A little light degradation can have its place, of course, but I wouldn't want to cross over into anything too...demeaning."
fucking coward
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He can't see Astarion's face, but he can feel the twitches of muscle underneath it; it's enough to corroborate some of what he already suspects.
"That you for telling me," Jedao says softly, warmly. "It makes me feel safer, knowing what to be careful about."
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