Very true. I frequently oppose people I love. If you're around anyone long enough you'll find something to disagree about.
[He's been caught off guard here, where disagreeing with someone seems to be taken as a personal assault. It's made him gunshy about speaking up at all.]
I guess I'm sourcing people whose advice I'd consider taking, rather than relying on whatever it is Neal's setting up. And I guess I'm doing that because I'm cynical about his plan working, because I think I'm doing what everyone does anyway.
...And for what it's worth I think you did the best you possibly could have with Neal. Failures to communicate take two people, but one of you was trying harder than the other.
[Jedao doesn't mean disagreements. Jedao means war. But it's not really an important distinction now.]
Well, I'm honored, then.
But my advice is to give it a chance. Because it's something awkward and new. You are doing what everyone does. And even if Neal has an uncharitable view of...a lot of things, he isn't wrong that sometimes it's not enough.
[He laughs softly.]
And if that was my best, I'd hate to see my average.
I think most of the people I would worry about, from a...harm reduction perspective are self-aware enough to refuse even if they were suggested, which I also haven't seen.
Hakkai nominated Xie Lian, who is...wise, and kind, and impossible to rile, as far as I can tell. I don't worry he would ever let his private judgements lead him to demean or dismiss someone. I do worry that his very serene affect would read as coldness to some people in crisis. That they might...feel unacknowledged, wanting a bigger reaction. I worry that Ilde might be hurt by the pressure of the position, if she accepted.
It does seem very easy to misread things here. Back home if someone's not shooting at you they're probably okay to get to know; even if they do shoot they might still be okay to take home, you know? Here, a right word with the wrong inflection can set off a feud.
[Because it's not like Jedao's not going to think about it. Oedipal gay disaster indeed, in the words of one of his signs from the previous flood. But he's got to have some dignity, and this is the line he's chosen.]
If you ever want to borrow a crop or something, though.
Jedao's cabin is just the slightest bit uncanny: the rooms are hexagons instead of quadrangles, and the furniture not quite the same as the Earth sort, although in similar enough shapes through convergent use. But it's also soothing, with a gentle decor: the room is all designed in soothing shades of green with pale wood furnishings. The candlevines lighting it seem to grow from the ceiling, neither full organic nor mechanical, but the light spectrum is warm and soft. The door is like a vault, eight inches thick and capable of a space-worthy vacuum seal, but the outer enamel decorations are lovely, with an effect like a silkscreen ink painting.
The door opens and shuts for him on its own, and Jedao waves Jesus over to the low couch, opposite a bare patch of wall that lights up into the terminal.
Jesus lives in a FEMA trailer, and it's the first space he's ever had that was just his. Being in nice places always fills him with a little awe, a sense of being out of place that he's learned to savor rather than resent. He looks around, taking it all in, before he smiles at Jedao and joins him.
"It's beautiful here. Did you design it or did the Admiral just give it to you like this?"
Jedao laughs a little - not bitterly, despite the answer, just warm and rueful.
"It's the same as my quarters from before," he says. He does not say, at home. "Somebody designed it to be relentlessly wholesome and soothing, but I don't know if that was a special order for containing me or if it's just what all the Shuos quarters are like now. Honestly, it could be either."
"Relentlessly wholesome makes me think part of you would rather have something nicely chaotic," he teases. "Maybe like from an Esher drawing? Have you seen those?"
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: private;
[He's been caught off guard here, where disagreeing with someone seems to be taken as a personal assault. It's made him gunshy about speaking up at all.]
I guess I'm sourcing people whose advice I'd consider taking, rather than relying on whatever it is Neal's setting up. And I guess I'm doing that because I'm cynical about his plan working, because I think I'm doing what everyone does anyway.
...And for what it's worth I think you did the best you possibly could have with Neal. Failures to communicate take two people, but one of you was trying harder than the other.
Re: private;
Well, I'm honored, then.
But my advice is to give it a chance. Because it's something awkward and new. You are doing what everyone does. And even if Neal has an uncharitable view of...a lot of things, he isn't wrong that sometimes it's not enough.
[He laughs softly.]
And if that was my best, I'd hate to see my average.
Re: private;
[He's teasing. He's grateful. He'll keep an open mind.]
Who would you worry about being in the position?
Re: private;
Never trust a Shuos. It's too late for you, now.
[More seriously, more softly,]
I think most of the people I would worry about, from a...harm reduction perspective are self-aware enough to refuse even if they were suggested, which I also haven't seen.
Hakkai nominated Xie Lian, who is...wise, and kind, and impossible to rile, as far as I can tell. I don't worry he would ever let his private judgements lead him to demean or dismiss someone. I do worry that his very serene affect would read as coldness to some people in crisis. That they might...feel unacknowledged, wanting a bigger reaction. I worry that Ilde might be hurt by the pressure of the position, if she accepted.
Re: private;
[It's a little bewildering for him.]
Can I ask you an unprofessional question now?
Re: private;
You might get an unprofessional answer.
Re: private;
[he's half-joking.]
What do you do to relax when you aren't breaking up fights?
Re: private;
[It's not the same as Jedao's experience, but he gets it. There's a great deal of relief that comes with knowing the terrain, even if it's bad.]
I play a lot of video games. Read philosophy. Kinky sex. Watch shitty romance dramas. Water my plants. Practice art.
Re: private;
Maybe I should play it safe and ask about the video games and philosophers you've read.
Re: private;
[Very wryly, very warm.]
I'm working through the Epicureans right now.
[Ironically enough.]
And none of my games are from Earth, but I could probably find something for any genre you're into.
Re: private;
[No one old enough to be Jedao's father, especially]
Re: private;
Godric and I agreed on it after the last breach.
Although he does have other children.
[Vampire children, but Jedao thinks it still counts.]
Re: private;
So you and I are entirely platonic now?
Re: private;
[Because it's not like Jedao's not going to think about it. Oedipal gay disaster indeed, in the words of one of his signs from the previous flood. But he's got to have some dignity, and this is the line he's chosen.]
If you ever want to borrow a crop or something, though.
Re: private;
[But he'll be thinking about it, too. Jedao isn't his son, he has in fact been very very happy not to have any children, adopted or otherwise.]
And I'd still like to play video games with you.
Re: private;
Re: private;
Are you a gambling man?
Re: private;
Well, wait, that's not true. Hakkai and I cleaned up at poker on an Earth port once.
And I love puzzle games. I'm in 5-13, I'll show you my favorites.
Re: private;
[He certainly wastes no time about it.]
Re: private;
The door opens and shuts for him on its own, and Jedao waves Jesus over to the low couch, opposite a bare patch of wall that lights up into the terminal.
no subject
"It's beautiful here. Did you design it or did the Admiral just give it to you like this?"
no subject
"It's the same as my quarters from before," he says. He does not say, at home. "Somebody designed it to be relentlessly wholesome and soothing, but I don't know if that was a special order for containing me or if it's just what all the Shuos quarters are like now. Honestly, it could be either."
no subject