[He sits very very still and quiet in his chosen study room in the library for an hour, simply breathing as his senses slowly cascade into being, and as the world around him filters slowly back into his awareness, awash in the heady scents and colors and flavors of the power that animates the universe. It's like he's been simply looking at a photograph of the world, beautifully and immaculately rendered but utterly devoid of life, and suddenly he's stepped through the frame into a fully realized world with depth and texture and substance.
He can feel the currents of power swirling through the halls and brushing across his skin, smell the icy cold of the darkness between the stars, hear the whispers of life from every corner of the ship. And so he sits there for an hour, and then for another hour, breathing slow and steady as he acclimates to being at least something close to fully himself again... because if he tries to do anything else right now he is mortifyingly certain he'll break down and cry.
And then he gives himself another thirty minutes to fully master himself before packing away his things and returning them to his desk in Zhao Yunlan's quarters, every movement measured and precise as he allows himself to revel in the rightness of the world around him.
And only then does he reply again to xiao Jedao on the network.]
[text]
May I please speak with you in person?
This is not something suitably conveyed over the network, and his earlier thanks were a paltry thing relative to the enormity of the gift his warden has given him.
Edited 2023-12-31 09:06 (UTC)
Re: Backdated to 10/18, when his senses were returned
Thank you. And I do, yes. Very much. [Even moreso, now that he can taste the myriad of subtle undertones again.
He leaves immediately, though it takes him longer to make his way there than it normally would. He keeps getting sidetracked by the thrumming eddies of power that thread through the very air and structure of this place. By the vibrant taste of life, and even of decay and death. By the simple yet profound awareness of the existence of everything and everyone around him, though he still can't pick out the individual energy signatures of any but those close to him when not in his presence. A small limitation, and wholly understandable, and when he reaches xiao Jedao's quarters some minutes later, he's slightly flushed and smiling warmly as he knocks.]
The door opens for him after the first knock; and Jedao is smiling and waiting. He's brewed up one of the teas he rather likes, an entrancingly delicate white tea, clean and herbal and light. He's raided the kitchen for fresh fruit, so there are green apples and one orange in a bowl on the table as well.
Shen Wei steps just far enough into the room for the door to slide shut behind him, then bows at the waist, graceful and deliberate, until his his hands rest shadowy his upper thighs and his torso is parallel to the floor. He straightens just as deliberately, just as gracefully, then repeats the obeisance twice more.
When he finally straightens his eyes are bright in a way they haven't been since before he was demoted, since before Flotilla, and he swallows roughly before managing to murmur, "Thank you. For the very great gift of your trust. And your care."
He doesn't really believes the latter, not yet, but he's disinclined to argue about it, at least.
His smile is wider and softer than anything Jedao's likely ever seen on his face, unless he's seen him looking at Zhao Yunlan in a particularly happy and unguarded moment. "I-" He hesitates for a moment, the smile dropping away as he presses his lips together before continuing, quiet and steady- "I was wondering, if you might ask the Admiral for the return of one more of my power?"
"My ability to share my senses with others." He dips his chin slightly, and adds, "You asked once, how I normally perceive the world, and... I would like to show you what your gift has returned to me, if you're willing."
His smile is smaller now, as much in the way his eyes crinkle with pleasure as the curve of his lips. But it's no less radiantly pleased, and it's so very different from what he normally allows anyone to see, willingly or otherwise. Not serenely distant, or gently concerned... or terrified, confused, lost. It transforms his face, makes him look vibrant and alive, and very very young.
"Thank you," he murmurs, and waits in hope the Admiral will agree, waits to feel that power at his fingertips again.
He's paying close attention, so he feels the change, and he dips his chin smile spreading slightly wider as he feels something within himself stretch and settle just that fraction more, feels the energies in his body thrum to a slightly deeper, richer chord. He gives himself a moment to feel the contours of his expanded, however minutely, self, then lifts his head and opens eyes he hadn't noticed shutting.
"Thank you," he murmurs again. "If... if you would place your hand on my shoulder." It feels less intrusive, less forward, than touching, just as he'd done with Zhao Yunlan the one time he'd shared this with him so long ago. "And close your eyes, if you don't mind?" It's not essential, but the woman he'd learned this gift from had said it made it easier on those she shared with.
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Backdated to 10/18, when his senses were returned
He can feel the currents of power swirling through the halls and brushing across his skin, smell the icy cold of the darkness between the stars, hear the whispers of life from every corner of the ship. And so he sits there for an hour, and then for another hour, breathing slow and steady as he acclimates to being at least something close to fully himself again... because if he tries to do anything else right now he is mortifyingly certain he'll break down and cry.
And then he gives himself another thirty minutes to fully master himself before packing away his things and returning them to his desk in Zhao Yunlan's quarters, every movement measured and precise as he allows himself to revel in the rightness of the world around him.
And only then does he reply again to xiao Jedao on the network.]
[text]
May I please speak with you in person?
This is not something suitably conveyed over the network, and his earlier thanks were a paltry thing relative to the enormity of the gift his warden has given him.
Re: Backdated to 10/18, when his senses were returned
Where do you want to meet?
[Not that he had a terribly packed schedule, but it's about setting the example.]
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[With his senses back.]
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He leaves immediately, though it takes him longer to make his way there than it normally would. He keeps getting sidetracked by the thrumming eddies of power that thread through the very air and structure of this place. By the vibrant taste of life, and even of decay and death. By the simple yet profound awareness of the existence of everything and everyone around him, though he still can't pick out the individual energy signatures of any but those close to him when not in his presence. A small limitation, and wholly understandable, and when he reaches xiao Jedao's quarters some minutes later, he's slightly flushed and smiling warmly as he knocks.]
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"Come in, uncle," Jedao welcomes him.
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When he finally straightens his eyes are bright in a way they haven't been since before he was demoted, since before Flotilla, and he swallows roughly before managing to murmur, "Thank you. For the very great gift of your trust. And your care."
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His smile is wider and softer than anything Jedao's likely ever seen on his face, unless he's seen him looking at Zhao Yunlan in a particularly happy and unguarded moment. "I-" He hesitates for a moment, the smile dropping away as he presses his lips together before continuing, quiet and steady- "I was wondering, if you might ask the Admiral for the return of one more of my power?"
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He quickly pulls out his communicator to add the addendum.
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"Thank you," he murmurs, and waits in hope the Admiral will agree, waits to feel that power at his fingertips again.
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"Thank you," he murmurs again. "If... if you would place your hand on my shoulder." It feels less intrusive, less forward, than touching, just as he'd done with Zhao Yunlan the one time he'd shared this with him so long ago. "And close your eyes, if you don't mind?" It's not essential, but the woman he'd learned this gift from had said it made it easier on those she shared with.
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