[ These next messages are spaced out. One 20 minutes after the first one, the rest intermittently throughout until Jedao answers. ]
Just for clarification, I mean your best as like, a phrase, not literally, obviously you're not.
Was that shitty? It wasn't supposed to be shitty. Just, uuuuh... yeah. Let me know if you're okay. Not that I care.
I do care, actually. Like. You're, uh.... important. To Eiffel, I guess. Soooooo that's what I mean. Fuck off.
Actually? Fuck you, you're kind of important to me, too. I mean you're the weirdest person on this ship sans, like, Kiryu, but you're okay. So just get back to me. Or don't. I don't care. But actually really do get back to me, just. So we're clear.
[ text is nice. Text is easier. It's not face-to-face--and it's not like the DOJ can get a warrant for texts about feelings. This is the barge, not New York. ]
[Hysterical, broken howling laughter and fake cheer to manipulate the mind controlled version of Eiffel aside - it's the first time he's really smiled since all this began. A small, soft, rueful little huff of a smile, but still.]
mostly no
i just
this whole thing was kind of like
you know in eiffels movies when somebody gets shot and they keep going until the end of the big scene and then collapse
that
but in my brain
or
youre a money guy
i took out a really big loan to be able to function and get this fixed
in my brain
a loan of just doing what i needed to do and not screaming and screaming and screaming and biting my fingers off joint by joint
when its done you can text me and shit or like before if you need some bullshit or if you just want to get smashed without going to the lounge or during
sometimes my brother connor texts me just because i think its to say he wants to hang but he doesnt know how to say it its really weird but you could also just do that too
or dont
im not your mom
Edited (that icon was WAY too agressive) 2024-01-05 20:35 (UTC)
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Just for clarification, I mean your best as like, a phrase, not literally, obviously you're not.
Was that shitty? It wasn't supposed to be shitty. Just, uuuuh... yeah. Let me know if you're okay. Not that I care.
I do care, actually. Like. You're, uh.... important. To Eiffel, I guess. Soooooo that's what I mean. Fuck off.
Actually? Fuck you, you're kind of important to me, too. I mean you're the weirdest person on this ship sans, like, Kiryu, but you're okay. So just get back to me. Or don't. I don't care. But actually really do get back to me, just. So we're clear.
Please.
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i am doing very bad
it wasnt shitty
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where are you
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i wasnt ignoring you
i dont let myself access the communicator when im
compromised
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you also didnt answer me
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im also the most annoying motherfucker on the planet and you still havent told me where you are
im going to start demanding you hop over to place and i dont have bario mart or whatever the fuck it is you like to play
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but i cant people right now
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big difference
fuck you you cant people right now
[ he's at least not pushing the location. It's the start of backing down. ]
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dont apologize to me
youre setting
"boundaries"
[ He's going to hurl. He just said the word boundaries and he was earnest about it. This is the worst day of his life. ]
can you just talk to me when youre ready?
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it must have sucked
the whole thing with eiffel
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yes
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1/2
check that off the list
are you beating yourself off
2/2
habit
CW: gore + self-harm imagery
mostly no
i just
this whole thing was kind of like
you know in eiffels movies when somebody gets shot and they keep going until the end of the big scene and then collapse
that
but in my brain
or
youre a money guy
i took out a really big loan to be able to function and get this fixed
in my brain
a loan of just doing what i needed to do and not screaming and screaming and screaming and biting my fingers off joint by joint
and now ive got this big pain loan to pay back
with interest
and murder fees
so thats gonna be a thing for a while
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then you need a good financial guy maybe
to text after the market closes
im very good with profit margins
you just gotta dig your way out
itll be fine
youll be okay is what im saying
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i will be im just not
right now
and i dont even regret the trade yknow i needed it when i needed it
i just do have to pay it back
so thats what ill be doing for a while
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or like before if you need some bullshit
or if you just want to get smashed without going to the lounge
or during
sometimes my brother connor texts me just because
i think its to say he wants to hang but he doesnt know how to say it
its really weird but you could also just do that too
or dont
im not your mom
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youre a good frienf
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thank you
but you are too so its not weird or anything
quid pro quo