i always end up feeling like you don't really want me to
[Oh, god. Is this...self-recognition? Is he as pushy and annoying as Malcolm when he's stuck on the wrong assumption? This is terrible. He hates this.]
He’ll accept Malcolm’s help when he doesn’t actually need it. So there are no stakes. For him. Malcolm thought he’d offered him help because he wanted to be friends, but he was being wardened all along. Like with the glitter.]
Clearly I have wanted your help, because I’ve asked for it. What I’ve… not wanted is to be… repaired, like a defective machine. That’s where I’ve tried to draw lines.
Sorry to… pester you. I’ll talk to you later. When you’re feeling better.
Jedao wants to spit. There's something weirdly, jarringly good about being angry, a jangling contrast to the morass of of everything else he's feeling, even though there's absolutely nothing worthwhile to do with the feeling.
He wants to yell a half-dozen different things, from the utterly useless I'm not a nirai just because you keep projecting it onto me to the petty you ask for it but you never take it to the deeply unkind, if painfully honest, this is why I don't want to talk to you, you're too fucking sensitive and I can't juggle coddling your emotions right now.
Malcolm is doing the exact thing Jedao has recommended that he do when upset, and also what he's actually asked him to do right now, which is back off. Jedao can't punish him for that.
Jedao throws his communicator at the wall and howls into his pillow so loud it starts Jeep, earning him a hissing reproach.]
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i always end up feeling like you don't really want me to
[Oh, god. Is this...self-recognition? Is he as pushy and annoying as Malcolm when he's stuck on the wrong assumption? This is terrible. He hates this.]
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we misunderstand each other a lot
trying to manage that
when i already hurt
exhausting + painful + not worth it
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He’ll accept Malcolm’s help when he doesn’t actually need it. So there are no stakes. For him. Malcolm thought he’d offered him help because he wanted to be friends, but he was being wardened all along. Like with the glitter.]
Clearly I have wanted your help, because I’ve asked for it. What I’ve… not wanted is to be… repaired, like a defective machine. That’s where I’ve tried to draw lines.
Sorry to… pester you. I’ll talk to you later. When you’re feeling better.
Re: audio
Jedao wants to spit. There's something weirdly, jarringly good about being angry, a jangling contrast to the morass of of everything else he's feeling, even though there's absolutely nothing worthwhile to do with the feeling.
He wants to yell a half-dozen different things, from the utterly useless I'm not a nirai just because you keep projecting it onto me to the petty you ask for it but you never take it to the deeply unkind, if painfully honest, this is why I don't want to talk to you, you're too fucking sensitive and I can't juggle coddling your emotions right now.
Malcolm is doing the exact thing Jedao has recommended that he do when upset, and also what he's actually asked him to do right now, which is back off. Jedao can't punish him for that.
Jedao throws his communicator at the wall and howls into his pillow so loud it starts Jeep, earning him a hissing reproach.]