Ah. An interesting exploit, and one he's going to try and find a way around as soon as he possibly can. Maybe something as simple as wedge of some kind while inside, though that leaves things vulnerable when a person isn't home--
Right, focus.
It is... profoundly disorienting to hear that Jedao thinks he deserves anything. He's more than a little taken aback. He's also startled to realize somewhere during the description of how Jedao spent his days under house arrest, Neal started getting tense, like he was bracing himself for the scolding or condescension he was sure he'd have to ride his way through if he wanted to finish this conversation without a fight.
He clears his throat softly and looks away. "My life has been... the next thing and the next thing and the next thing for a long time. I don't know if it's ever been anything else, honestly. I don't know why it's so... different here."
"There's safety nets here. There's your warden who's hopefully got your back, and the death toll, and so on. It's not always gentle, but - the stakes go down a little, in some ways. But there's also....there's so much time in between the crises, and only so much work to fill it up with. If I hadn't learned how to sit with my own thoughts before I got here, I'd have cracked like an egg, I think. And graduating means you have to take some walls down, right? You stopped running flat out long enough to say hey, that was all fucked up, I didn't deserve that - and that makes it harder to shove everything back down and do it to yourself."
Jedao swallows, then shrugs.
"Maybe it's none of that, I'm just speculating. But even if you could force yourself to keep marching, like you had to before - you deserve rest anyway."
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Right, focus.
It is... profoundly disorienting to hear that Jedao thinks he deserves anything. He's more than a little taken aback. He's also startled to realize somewhere during the description of how Jedao spent his days under house arrest, Neal started getting tense, like he was bracing himself for the scolding or condescension he was sure he'd have to ride his way through if he wanted to finish this conversation without a fight.
He clears his throat softly and looks away. "My life has been... the next thing and the next thing and the next thing for a long time. I don't know if it's ever been anything else, honestly. I don't know why it's so... different here."
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Jedao swallows, then shrugs.
"Maybe it's none of that, I'm just speculating. But even if you could force yourself to keep marching, like you had to before - you deserve rest anyway."