Gojyo takes another swig of his drink, not downing it all at once for now.
"...Did he actually call me that?"
Yet another question he'd never ask while sober.
"'Home'?"
That doesn't sound like the Hakkai he knows, saying something like that out loud. But it's evident by now he doesn't know the person Hakkai has become.
Hakkai hasn't changed that much, after all, although Jedao has heard him say dear friend, before.
"But it's in his voice when he talks about you. And - when we were planning the wedding, one of the rituals, from my father's people, is bringing your new spouse's family a live goose. It's symbolic of things. And he immediately said you, for that part. We don't have geese here but we're going to redo it someday, when we can get everyone."
So they've got to be made up by then.
"And one time, the barge gave us pieces of each other's memories. And I remembered - you. Nothing happening, just a peaceful day in our - in your house. I remember what he felt."
...How the hell is he supposed to respond to that?
Gojyo rubs his face. It could be interpreted as brushing away tears, although that's not the case - Gojyo doesn't cry easily.
How the hell is he supposed to respond to that? He doesn't even know what his emotions are doing. It doesn't occur to him to even suspect that Jedao might be embellishing things.
"So, that's something to think about," Jedao murmurs, when the silence makes it clear that something has gotten through the reflexive shield of self-abnegation.
"I hope you'll call me if there's anything else I can answer."
But he finishes his drink and stands up, intending to retreat while he's ahead and leave Gojyo pondering that.
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He punctuates that by downing half his glass again.
"It ain't my place to talk about his past, but if you know about her, you should know what a giant deal it is for him to be with anyone else."
Gojyo is nothing in comparison to that.
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"I know that. The stuff I said is all still true, though."
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Fuck, us living together wasn't-- it was never meant to be permanent in the first place."
And Gojyo's a goddamn idiot for getting used to having someone that didn't leave. Idiot idiot idiot.
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Gojyo takes another swig of his drink, not downing it all at once for now.
"...Did he actually call me that?"
Yet another question he'd never ask while sober.
"'Home'?"
That doesn't sound like the Hakkai he knows, saying something like that out loud. But it's evident by now he doesn't know the person Hakkai has become.
no subject
Hakkai hasn't changed that much, after all, although Jedao has heard him say dear friend, before.
"But it's in his voice when he talks about you. And - when we were planning the wedding, one of the rituals, from my father's people, is bringing your new spouse's family a live goose. It's symbolic of things. And he immediately said you, for that part. We don't have geese here but we're going to redo it someday, when we can get everyone."
So they've got to be made up by then.
"And one time, the barge gave us pieces of each other's memories. And I remembered - you. Nothing happening, just a peaceful day in our - in your house. I remember what he felt."
no subject
Gojyo rubs his face. It could be interpreted as brushing away tears, although that's not the case - Gojyo doesn't cry easily.
How the hell is he supposed to respond to that? He doesn't even know what his emotions are doing. It doesn't occur to him to even suspect that Jedao might be embellishing things.
He downs the remainder of his glass.
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"So, that's something to think about," Jedao murmurs, when the silence makes it clear that something has gotten through the reflexive shield of self-abnegation.
"I hope you'll call me if there's anything else I can answer."
But he finishes his drink and stands up, intending to retreat while he's ahead and leave Gojyo pondering that.
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He doesn't stop him from leaving. Just refills his glass again.