Oh. My baby, Jedao says softly, and the wave of loving tenderness that rolls through him aches all through his chest, in his throat, in his fingertips.
My sweet boy. He clings back, rocks slightly backward and forward.
Sometimes, it's harder to deal with things that caught us by surprise. And it's hardest to ease pain when we try to...deny ourselves the right to feel it. It's not okay, that he startled you and made her cry, that he ruined a good time you were having with someone who didn't know anything about the King at all, who only saw you, and just liked who she saw.
It can be awful and unfair that he did that to you, without...without needing to count or compare anything or punish anyone.
And it always feels awful to be treated like a monster when you've been trying very hard to be trustworthy, no matter what anyone's reasons are, and worse when you can't even...when you don't have an avenue to defend yourself. I'm so sorry, Edwin.
That's it. That's what it is, it's that Faroe-- she met Edwin. She only knew him. And then Charlie spoiled the first time he got to be someone without a violent shadow. He clings harder, crying again, quietly this time.
I really have been trying to be-- to be nice to him, to be respectful a-and-- I know... I know I was the same with Arthur when I came but we could talk, we would talk, and it got... better. Arthur and John keep saying he doesn't have to forgive me, and I know he doesn't have to forgive me, but he doesn't-- I don't-- He won't talk to me, he won't listen to me, I try to stay away from him and he attacks me. But I can't talk to him like Arthur did for me, either. I don't know what to do.
He can't forgive you, because you aren't the person who hurt him, Jedao says firmly.
Not really. You know it. And he's not letting himself know it, and just because that's probably fucking with him even worse than it's fucking with you, that doesn't make it any better.
Jedao strokes his hand through Edwin's hair.
You've done exactly right. It's not yours to fix, Sunshine. I'm going to talk to him, okay?
When Jedao says he can't forgive you, Edwin starts to tense.
But then the rest of it comes out.
Because you aren't the person who hurt him.
Edwin gives a tiny little gasp, the sound like an inhalation after held breath. Tension drops out of him all at once, and-- yeah he's just going to cry really hard for a little bit.
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My sweet boy. He clings back, rocks slightly backward and forward.
Sometimes, it's harder to deal with things that caught us by surprise. And it's hardest to ease pain when we try to...deny ourselves the right to feel it. It's not okay, that he startled you and made her cry, that he ruined a good time you were having with someone who didn't know anything about the King at all, who only saw you, and just liked who she saw.
It can be awful and unfair that he did that to you, without...without needing to count or compare anything or punish anyone.
And it always feels awful to be treated like a monster when you've been trying very hard to be trustworthy, no matter what anyone's reasons are, and worse when you can't even...when you don't have an avenue to defend yourself. I'm so sorry, Edwin.
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I really have been trying to be-- to be nice to him, to be respectful a-and-- I know... I know I was the same with Arthur when I came but we could talk, we would talk, and it got... better. Arthur and John keep saying he doesn't have to forgive me, and I know he doesn't have to forgive me, but he doesn't-- I don't-- He won't talk to me, he won't listen to me, I try to stay away from him and he attacks me. But I can't talk to him like Arthur did for me, either. I don't know what to do.
no subject
Not really. You know it. And he's not letting himself know it, and just because that's probably fucking with him even worse than it's fucking with you, that doesn't make it any better.
Jedao strokes his hand through Edwin's hair.
You've done exactly right. It's not yours to fix, Sunshine. I'm going to talk to him, okay?
no subject
But then the rest of it comes out.
Because you aren't the person who hurt him.
Edwin gives a tiny little gasp, the sound like an inhalation after held breath. Tension drops out of him all at once, and-- yeah he's just going to cry really hard for a little bit.
no subject