It's going to go bad, he doesn't say. If Hakkai isn't asking him to trust that Gojyo won't find some other thing wrong with Jedao, then what he's asking is for Jedao to just...accept that he's maybe-probably going to do that.
Jedao does think about the offer of an escape.
"He isn't subtle. When he wants me to go, I'll just go," Jedao says flatly. "And you're being cruel, now. How many times are you going to make me say yes?"
Hakkai is silent for a moment, turning that over in his head.
You can't need me to like it, he remembers Jedao saying, years ago now, when he'd let Hakkai make food for him before he could taste it like a human could. What he wants to say now is that he wants Jedao to trust that Hakkai will protect him, even if he doesn't trust that Gojyo won't react badly to something, but--
-- but what Jedao's saying is that he's so raw that Hakkai can't make him feel safe, no matter what. The best Hakkai can ask for is Jedao to agree to let Gojyo hurt him, even if that isn't what happens in the end.
At last, quiet, he says, "All right. That's all. ... The day after tomorrow, after dinner?"
The sooner, the better. But he has to ask Gojyo about it first.
Hakkai can tell Gojyo not to be an ass, even though Jedao would literally rather jump out the window and crawl over the side of the ship in the void than make Hakkai feel like he needs to throw Gojyo out of their home.
(The prospect of possibly having an excuse to do the stupid dramatic thing he's wanted to do ever since Misty turned down his offer to help her steal Pagan's body is a small cheering thought amid the congealing dread. He needs to ask the Admiral for a window. Really, he should have done that ages ago.)
What Hakkai can't do is make Gojyo like him. And he's so tired of having his nose rubbed in how much Gojyo can't stand him.
"Okay," Jedao agrees. He turns to give Hakkai a quick kiss on the cheek, then nestles down to half-hug, half cling to him, letting himself be pathetic for a few seconds. But he feels a little steadier with the plan set. "What kind of alcohol does he like?" Jedao isn't serving him any of the New York bottles from his own stash.
Hakkai curls an arm around Jedao's shoulders, holding him protectively close.
"Oh -- I was thinking cheap and strong. I could get some bottles of vodka from the Lounge."
Jedao likes vodka, and while Gojyo likes beer for friendly drinking Hakkai is of the strong impression that what he's going to want most out of the beverage on offer is "highly alcoholic."
"Maybe one of whisky," he adds, more fairly, because he knows Gojyo does prefer that when he drinks something strong.
"Three bottles of vodka, one of whisky," Hakkai says thoughtfully, after a few mental calculations. That's probably enough to get all of them drunk if things go terribly south. Jedao and Gojyo, at least.
"I won't," Hakkai promises, leaning over to press a kiss against the crown of Jedao's head. "Just a few plates of things to help balance out the alcohol."
He's not as stressed this time as he's been before. Worried for Jedao, but -- it feels much less unpredictable. He's spoken with Gojyo enough to know that he's grumpy about the situation, but feeling guilty about it in equal measure, and Hakkai thinks that should be enough to make him open up. Hopefully.
It's going to go bad, probably, there's no real pressure on the preparations because perfect preparation can't save it. Instead Jedao can just do them well for their own sake, which is a comforting thing to focus on.
"Okay," Hakkai agrees, squeezes Jedao's hand, and-- just stays where he is, for a long moment, curled protectively around him with his cheek against Jedao's hair.
Maybe it will go bad, but Hakkai wouldn't have suggested it if he didn't think it was more likely to be okay, and -- well, to take advantage of Gojyo feeling guilty before the two of them had fully solidified into pretending-the-other-doesn't-exist. It's a chance, he thinks, that's worth taking.
He hopes he's not going to end up hurting either of them by insisting on it.
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Jedao does think about the offer of an escape.
"He isn't subtle. When he wants me to go, I'll just go," Jedao says flatly. "And you're being cruel, now. How many times are you going to make me say yes?"
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You can't need me to like it, he remembers Jedao saying, years ago now, when he'd let Hakkai make food for him before he could taste it like a human could. What he wants to say now is that he wants Jedao to trust that Hakkai will protect him, even if he doesn't trust that Gojyo won't react badly to something, but--
-- but what Jedao's saying is that he's so raw that Hakkai can't make him feel safe, no matter what. The best Hakkai can ask for is Jedao to agree to let Gojyo hurt him, even if that isn't what happens in the end.
At last, quiet, he says, "All right. That's all. ... The day after tomorrow, after dinner?"
The sooner, the better. But he has to ask Gojyo about it first.
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(The prospect of possibly having an excuse to do the stupid dramatic thing he's wanted to do ever since Misty turned down his offer to help her steal Pagan's body is a small cheering thought amid the congealing dread. He needs to ask the Admiral for a window. Really, he should have done that ages ago.)
What Hakkai can't do is make Gojyo like him. And he's so tired of having his nose rubbed in how much Gojyo can't stand him.
"Okay," Jedao agrees. He turns to give Hakkai a quick kiss on the cheek, then nestles down to half-hug, half cling to him, letting himself be pathetic for a few seconds. But he feels a little steadier with the plan set. "What kind of alcohol does he like?" Jedao isn't serving him any of the New York bottles from his own stash.
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"Oh -- I was thinking cheap and strong. I could get some bottles of vodka from the Lounge."
Jedao likes vodka, and while Gojyo likes beer for friendly drinking Hakkai is of the strong impression that what he's going to want most out of the beverage on offer is "highly alcoholic."
"Maybe one of whisky," he adds, more fairly, because he knows Gojyo does prefer that when he drinks something strong.
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Please give him a logistic.
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"... and I'll make snacks."
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He's not as stressed this time as he's been before. Worried for Jedao, but -- it feels much less unpredictable. He's spoken with Gojyo enough to know that he's grumpy about the situation, but feeling guilty about it in equal measure, and Hakkai thinks that should be enough to make him open up. Hopefully.
no subject
It's going to go bad, probably, there's no real pressure on the preparations because perfect preparation can't save it. Instead Jedao can just do them well for their own sake, which is a comforting thing to focus on.
no subject
Maybe it will go bad, but Hakkai wouldn't have suggested it if he didn't think it was more likely to be okay, and -- well, to take advantage of Gojyo feeling guilty before the two of them had fully solidified into pretending-the-other-doesn't-exist. It's a chance, he thinks, that's worth taking.
He hopes he's not going to end up hurting either of them by insisting on it.