"And when everything happened, when Mandrake was a fucking asshole, you were loyal to Hakkai. Not Mandrake. So even if he did put something in there, it's something you grew past. Something you don't have to listen to."
Jedao shakes his head. It was never that simple, between them.
"He couldn't make me perfectly loyal without destroying the military genius he wanted to win his war for him. He didn't like it, but he was reconciled to - managing me."
Read: manipulating, isolating, deceiving, and occasionally imprisoning Jedao whenever he went too off-script.
Submit to me, and I may yet forgive a great many things. Your predecessor, too, had a taste for treachery. Not Kujen's last words, but nearly. After he'd realized Jedao had not just the desire but the means to kill him.
Maybe Kujen would have been better off with the third draft.
"And you don't think he made it easier to 'manage' you by setting things up to make you think you were broken?"
He can't help but think of the King in Yellow, of how he'd manipulated them, how he'd tricked them, herded them, pushed them, how he'd poisoned the mind of Kellin and used the cult and how he would do terrible things trying to tear himself and Arthur apart, to get what he wanted, to be whole. He pushes it aside. That's him, not Jedao.
"Sorry. That was rude." A faint huff of self-depreciating amusement. "And you're not wrong. Sometimes, being a person sucks. It hurts and it's confusing and it feels like none of the rules make sense."
But Jedao is looking thoughtful; he drums his fingers on one kneecap.
"No, it's not rude. He would do that, if he thought it was an efficient way to control me. I don't know if it was efficient. But it's worth considering."
"The easiest way to control someone is to make them doubt themselves. Doubt what they think and feel, the instincts they have." A pause, before he admits- "That's how the King works."
"He lied to me a bit, about who was on what side. I figured it out, but...not fast enough. Really I think he was just relying on the loneliness. Everyone else hated me, except for someone he did control with psych surgery. It was just him. If I turned against him...I'd lose the only affection in the world."
Only I will never judge you. No one else will ever love you.
"Obviously it's not true. But it was very nearly true in that universe. And he did want to give me a life of infinite luxury and kinky sex, for the low price of letting him torture other people I didn't know on a galactic scale to fuel his power structures forever. That probably seemed like plenty of leverage to him."
"It's...stuff that most people don't think is hot, or even related to sex necessarily, but some people think is really hot. Usually a little more intense and elaborate. It's kind of a grab bag. Most people who like some kinky things don't like others."
"Yeah? But it's like. A sliding scale. And what's expected to be hot is different in different cultures. So - gloves are kinky, to me, but maybe not to someone from Earth. Humans don't normally have the possibility of having sex with tentacles, though, so it's like - kinky automatically, even if it's, uh, pretty common compared to some other kinks."
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He clamps on like a terrier.
"And when everything happened, when Mandrake was a fucking asshole, you were loyal to Hakkai. Not Mandrake. So even if he did put something in there, it's something you grew past. Something you don't have to listen to."
A soft grumble.
"You're not his. You're yours."
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"He couldn't make me perfectly loyal without destroying the military genius he wanted to win his war for him. He didn't like it, but he was reconciled to - managing me."
Read: manipulating, isolating, deceiving, and occasionally imprisoning Jedao whenever he went too off-script.
Submit to me, and I may yet forgive a great many things. Your predecessor, too, had a taste for treachery. Not Kujen's last words, but nearly. After he'd realized Jedao had not just the desire but the means to kill him.
Maybe Kujen would have been better off with the third draft.
"Sometimes I don't want to be mine," he admits.
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He can't help but think of the King in Yellow, of how he'd manipulated them, how he'd tricked them, herded them, pushed them, how he'd poisoned the mind of Kellin and used the cult and how he would do terrible things trying to tear himself and Arthur apart, to get what he wanted, to be whole. He pushes it aside. That's him, not Jedao.
"Sorry. That was rude." A faint huff of self-depreciating amusement. "And you're not wrong. Sometimes, being a person sucks. It hurts and it's confusing and it feels like none of the rules make sense."
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"No, it's not rude. He would do that, if he thought it was an efficient way to control me. I don't know if it was efficient. But it's worth considering."
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"The easiest way to control someone is to make them doubt themselves. Doubt what they think and feel, the instincts they have." A pause, before he admits- "That's how the King works."
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He fidgets a little with his pant cuff.
"I didn't even have anything to doubt, at first. I just woke up on his station. I had about two and half memories and a name. He was the whole world."
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He listens to Jedao talk about his first moments, waking up. That, he gets.
"But he wanted you to think for him, no? So... he had to have leverage."
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Only I will never judge you. No one else will ever love you.
"Obviously it's not true. But it was very nearly true in that universe. And he did want to give me a life of infinite luxury and kinky sex, for the low price of letting him torture other people I didn't know on a galactic scale to fuel his power structures forever. That probably seemed like plenty of leverage to him."
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"...what's 'kinky' sex?"
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"It's...stuff that most people don't think is hot, or even related to sex necessarily, but some people think is really hot. Usually a little more intense and elaborate. It's kind of a grab bag. Most people who like some kinky things don't like others."
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"Huh." A pause. Well, he might as well ask since it seems like a simple enough thing for Jedao. "Are tentacles considered kinky?"
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Jedao has seen a non-zero amount of Space Hentai.
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That's a new one. Huh. He never would have thought it. He's learning so much today.
"It's the only way I've ever done it. Not that I've done it like this."