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[deuceoftears]

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[betacuck]

You know how you stabbed yourself or someone stabbed you to fix you when that sword curse was flying around-- [ he was only half paying attention ] --and I kind of...

[ A noncommital shrug, fully complete with a mumbled, incomprehensible garble. ]

That shit happened?

[deuceoftears]

I do recall.

[Mild, but warm. He's not mad about it, but he's not rushing to reassure Roman until he manages to say whatever it is he's trying to say.]

[betacuck]

Oh, good. You recall.

[ Of course he recalls, but coaxing Roman into being verbally emotional--especially if he knows he has to and it's his own idea--will always be a little like pulling teeth until the ball gets rolling. ]

I was uh, I mean, I hadn't exactly, you know, said... anything... to you after that... Like. At all.

[ Wow this is a very interesting butterfly card. ]

And i thought maybe I should....?

[deuceoftears]

[Jedao feels like it more resembles sitting quietly and working on something and not looking while a shy cat gradually sidles up to sit next to you. A skill he has been working on for some time.]

I was convalescing for a little while. You couldn't have talked to me right afterwards if you'd tried.

[He remarks mildly.]

But I'm listening now.

[betacuck]

Wouldn't want to interrupt your convalescing.

[ Jedao's got the right approach. Eventually, Roman just sort of sinks into a nearby chair. ]

So uh, about the shit I said.... It wasn't very cool.

[ A wince. ]

[deuceoftears]

What do you think it was, then?

[betacuck]

Not...cool?

[ Roman, wincing, decides now's the time to throw his head dramatically back. ]

I'm trying to say I'm sorry. I guess. For trying to dig.

[deuceoftears]

[Although Roman is staring at the ceiling, Jedao looks up at him for the first time in a while, smiling warmly.]

If that's what you're trying to say, then you should say it.

[Just because he's proud of you doesn't mean he's letting you off the hook just half-assing this.]

[betacuck]

[ Roman's response, now that he's nice and horizontal, is to slink. He hunches back, spineless in almost every sense of the word. ]

Please don't make me say it officially.

[ Jedao's going to, isn't he? ]

[deuceoftears]

I'm not making you say anything.

You've told me what you're trying to do. How hard you actually try to accomplish it is up to you.

[You bet your ass he is.]

[betacuck]

[ He's going to have to say it officially. Roman's sigh is so loud he may as well be blowing a raspberry. ]

I'm sorry.

[deuceoftears]

[Good job!!! Gold star.]

Okay. I accept your apology.

[betacuck]

[ Roman doesn't move for a split second, as if he didn't hear the other. After a beat he swerves his head in Jedao's direction, still unmoving. ]

Really?

[ That's it? ]

[deuceoftears]

Yeah, dude, I forgive you.

You were feeling terrible because of an actual curse, and you were as cruel as you knew how to be. You could've blown it off, but you apologized anyway. I think that's really brave and cool of you.

[betacuck]

Wh--

[ Roman's had to apologize to people before. Especially on the barge. But there's always an edge to it, a gruffness from the other person, or some sort of schpiel. Raylan and Jedao, though? ]

Huh.

I am brave and cool. You're right. [ His ego loves it, that's for sure. ]

[deuceoftears]

I'm always right.

[Jedao agrees sagely.]

[betacuck]

Ennnh... You're ruining it a little, but I'll allow it. Just because you're right about how I'm the world's specialist, bravest boy.

[ A short bark of a laugh. ]

Thanks.

[deuceoftears]

You remind me of myself, a little bit.

[It could be a joke about the specialest boy, but it isn't; it's quietly musing, something he's thought for a while.]

You stayed safe, I hope?

[betacuck]

Yeah, I think whatever you did chilled me out enough. I fought with Sweeney, though.

...kinda Fratricided Kendall, too. [ And, very casually: ] You?

[deuceoftears]

Executed Zerxus with his own sword and punted Gaius off the ship when his brains wouldn't stay scrambled.

[Not quite casually. Coolly, evenly. Jedao has no regrets about taking care of them.]

Had you killed somebody before?

[betacuck]

Oh, well, yeah, sounds like a tuesday. [ Roman shoots Jedao a look: not quite incredulous, not quite disgusted, but one he's developed solely for his friend that's a hearty mix of 'you're weird' and 'excuse me?'

Best to keep sliding down the chair as Jedao works on his arts and crafts. ]

Yeah... Uhh, no. No murder. Nothing direct, at least.

[deuceoftears]

As the only warden on this corpsefucking ship who can control myself while under a rage curse, apparently, I had a duty to take down the heavy-hitters who were off the rails.

[It's a little terse, but bitter rather than defensive. He puts down the knife for a moment, and sighs.]

I'm sorry.

[betacuck]

[ In a weird way, the tense tone is almost comforting. Roman shows no sign of it affecting him, though he does glance over at Jedao and looks at him proper. ]

What are you sorry for?

[deuceoftears]

Getting your head fucked with killing someone you care about sucks. I'm sorry that happened to you.

[Matter-of-factly, rather than gently.]

[betacuck]

[ Oh. Roman frowns. ]

Uh... Thanks, I think. I guess you speak from experience.