Oh. Because of the surgery you had to arrange for Eiffel?
[He just answers like Jedao typed words. Also he didn’t see what a shitshow happened in Jedao’s post. He read the part with the plan and it seemed in good hands, so he left it alone.]
[Most of the shitshow wasn't public anyway - and what was of it was mostly on Hilbert's post, rather than Jedao's. And really, all of that is tertiary to the actual reasons he's a heap right now.]
sort of
because of the thing i had to arrange the surgery to fix
i always end up feeling like you don't really want me to
[Oh, god. Is this...self-recognition? Is he as pushy and annoying as Malcolm when he's stuck on the wrong assumption? This is terrible. He hates this.]
He’ll accept Malcolm’s help when he doesn’t actually need it. So there are no stakes. For him. Malcolm thought he’d offered him help because he wanted to be friends, but he was being wardened all along. Like with the glitter.]
Clearly I have wanted your help, because I’ve asked for it. What I’ve… not wanted is to be… repaired, like a defective machine. That’s where I’ve tried to draw lines.
Sorry to… pester you. I’ll talk to you later. When you’re feeling better.
Jedao wants to spit. There's something weirdly, jarringly good about being angry, a jangling contrast to the morass of of everything else he's feeling, even though there's absolutely nothing worthwhile to do with the feeling.
He wants to yell a half-dozen different things, from the utterly useless I'm not a nirai just because you keep projecting it onto me to the petty you ask for it but you never take it to the deeply unkind, if painfully honest, this is why I don't want to talk to you, you're too fucking sensitive and I can't juggle coddling your emotions right now.
Malcolm is doing the exact thing Jedao has recommended that he do when upset, and also what he's actually asked him to do right now, which is back off. Jedao can't punish him for that.
Jedao throws his communicator at the wall and howls into his pillow so loud it starts Jeep, earning him a hissing reproach.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I finished the book. And one Archer gave me. It wasn’t on the same subject. It was about the same length, though.
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🫥🫥🫥 => 🤯😵💫🫠😶🌫️
[Jedao had forgotten the communicators had these. They're weirdly easier.]
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[He just answers like Jedao typed words. Also he didn’t see what a shitshow happened in Jedao’s post. He read the part with the plan and it seemed in good hands, so he left it alone.]
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sort of
because of the thing i had to arrange the surgery to fix
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but yeah
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i always end up feeling like you don't really want me to
[Oh, god. Is this...self-recognition? Is he as pushy and annoying as Malcolm when he's stuck on the wrong assumption? This is terrible. He hates this.]
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we misunderstand each other a lot
trying to manage that
when i already hurt
exhausting + painful + not worth it
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He’ll accept Malcolm’s help when he doesn’t actually need it. So there are no stakes. For him. Malcolm thought he’d offered him help because he wanted to be friends, but he was being wardened all along. Like with the glitter.]
Clearly I have wanted your help, because I’ve asked for it. What I’ve… not wanted is to be… repaired, like a defective machine. That’s where I’ve tried to draw lines.
Sorry to… pester you. I’ll talk to you later. When you’re feeling better.
Re: audio
Jedao wants to spit. There's something weirdly, jarringly good about being angry, a jangling contrast to the morass of of everything else he's feeling, even though there's absolutely nothing worthwhile to do with the feeling.
He wants to yell a half-dozen different things, from the utterly useless I'm not a nirai just because you keep projecting it onto me to the petty you ask for it but you never take it to the deeply unkind, if painfully honest, this is why I don't want to talk to you, you're too fucking sensitive and I can't juggle coddling your emotions right now.
Malcolm is doing the exact thing Jedao has recommended that he do when upset, and also what he's actually asked him to do right now, which is back off. Jedao can't punish him for that.
Jedao throws his communicator at the wall and howls into his pillow so loud it starts Jeep, earning him a hissing reproach.]