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[deuceoftears]

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[reformedsinner]

Gonou kisses back with a hint of relief, washcloth pausing at the center of Jedao's chest until their lips part again and he can go back to washing him clean.

He rinses the washcloth out again a few times before he reaches Jedao's waist and pauses, resting one hand on his knee to urge his legs to sprawl open and let Gonou finish cleaning away the traces of sex across his crotch and thighs.

"Is this all right?" he asks, soft. It is intimate, and if it's too much, Gonou can hand the washcloth over to him.

[deuceoftears]

Jedao spreads his legs wider at the nudge; the blush goes most of the way down his chest, flaring in little archipelagos of unscarred skin like a range of beacons.

"It's a lot," he breathes, "But in a good way."

He remembers washing after, the first time with Dhanneth, sore everywhere he wasn't numb from the ropes, together and yet still so separate. This feels - different, in almost every way.

[reformedsinner]

Another smile lights Gonou's face at the answer, and he leans over to drop a kiss on Jedao's knee beside his hand, deliberately a little silly as he starts to clean Jedao's thighs. He's gentle about it, not at all impersonal, darting little glances up at Jedao's face: half wondering, that he is allowed to do this, that he's welcomed, and the other half hot with desire.

[deuceoftears]

Jedao smiles too, easy and bright, his calf jumping minutely at one point as water trickles down his thigh. He didn't know - he didn't know he was ticklish, because no one else ever touched him there with anything that wasn't a knife.

"Fuck," he chokes, caught between giggles and something that wants to be a sob. "Come here, come here -" His hands are reaching for Gonou, and he needs to kiss him, needs to feel Gonou's arms around him again. Jedao wants to crush him in the tightest hug he can, only just remembering Gonou's ribs in time, hands spasming tight in his hair instead.

[reformedsinner]

Gonou drops the washcloth back into the bowl beside Jedao and follows those reaching hands, pulling him up into an embrace and kissing him hard, trying to warm away that half-choked hint of a sob under the laughter in his voice.

"Ticklish?" he murmurs against Jedao's lips, teasing, and kisses him again. "I am too -- on the bottom of my feet."

[deuceoftears]

"I didn't know," he says quietly, panting after the third kiss, or maybe the fourth, voice quiet but steadier. "No one's ever touched me like that before."

He nuzzles Gonou's cheek, takes another slow breath. I didn't know, he thinks again, and isn't entirely sure what he means by it; the magnitude of possible referents, for the moment, surpasses him.

"Thank you."

[reformedsinner]

"I'd like to, again and again," Gonou says softly, and kisses him for punctuation even though his voice is steadying again. "Every time you'll let me." He feels -- warm, fiercely protective at the thought that no one has been gentle with Jedao this way before and simultaneously flattered that he could be the first.

And a little intimidated, because he's only ever been with one person himself, and he's feeling his way through this by following Jedao's lead.

[deuceoftears]

"What is it?" Jedao asks, stroking Gonou's hair again. "I want to take care of you too, you know."

[reformedsinner]

"Oh," Gonou says wryly, "I'm just thinking..." he clears his throat, because this is embarrassing to admit aloud, but-- "that I'm doing a lot of this for the first time, too?"

It's not that he hadn't done quite a few things with Kanan, but a different partner means different tastes, different expectations, different -- ah -- equipment: he's not very experienced, when it comes down to it.

[deuceoftears]

Jedao blinks, then strokes his hand down Gonou's back.

"I know. Or - I assumed, anyway." Recognized, maybe, a kindred spirit, in their mutual devastation. "You're kind to me when things go - awry. I think that's more important than anything being perfect. And if you're worried about sex..." Jedao gives him an impish grin and squeezes a handful of Gonou's butt.

"...I have so much weird porn. We can try things, and laugh when they don't work and have a very nice time when they do."

[reformedsinner]

Gonou jolts, taken completely by surprise, when Jedao grabs his butt, and then puts his head down against Jedao's shoulder and starts laughing helplessly.

"Maybe we should start with porn that isn't very weird," he manages, "all of my sex education and my only relationship was a man and a woman--"

He lets the last of his worry ebb away on a long sigh, lifts his head up, and kisses Jedao firmly.

"... and you're kind to me," he adds, softly, "first and always."

[deuceoftears]

"Technically, my species are sequential hermaphrodites," Jedao mutters. "But I'm still pretty sure you can't get me pregnant without doing a lot of wildly unethical science on purpose, so we should be good there."

He trails his fingers back up Gonou's spine carefully.

"When I ask you to take care of me...I just like it. I like - the way you do it, it feels like proof that you want to be with me, that you - fuck, this is silly, but that you like me, not just want me. Even without Kujen messing with my head -" probably, maybe, "- I've wanted people I didn't want to want, you know? And - and done things in the heat of the moment that. I wish I hadn't done." Whatever Gonou is merciful enough to call it. "So I like - this. And I can tell you like it, too, getting to take care of me, and I want to give you that. But it doesn't mean you have to know everything about being with men."

Jedao cups the back of Gonou's neck, strokes the sinews there. "I promise I'll teach you how to take care of me any way you want to, okay? But there's nothing to be worried about. I trust you. And anything you don't know, I trust you to ask, and listen. And we'll figure it out. Yeah?"

[reformedsinner]

"You'd make a very attractive woman, too, but I'm glad we don't have to worry about birth control," Gonou murmurs, leaning his forehead against Jedao's and letting his eyes slip half-closed. The hand on his neck is -- surprisingly soothing, though he wouldn't have said he was tense, before.

Perhaps he had been, a little.

"And-- it's not silly. I do like you, you know. I liked you before anything else." His hands settle, overlapping, at the small of Jedao's back, his thumb rubbing absent little circles into the skin. "And I trust you to tell me what you want."

He pulls away just enough to give Jedao a small, slightly wicked smile, meeting his gaze. "In fact, maybe you should just talk me through it once or twice...? Next time."

[deuceoftears]

"Is that so," Jedao murmurs, his voice deepening, the sway of his accent getting a little thicker. That trembles on the verge of being a two-syllable word.

[reformedsinner]

"Immediate feedback is the best way to learn," Gonou says in his most innocent tone, and kisses him, slow and sweet.

Then he reaches over to recover the washcloth from the bowl and splat it against the back of Jedao's neck.

"But I wasn't done!"

[deuceoftears]

Jedao can feel the rag coming but doesn't realize until it hits how cool the water still feels against his warm skin; he shrieks and wriggles obligingly.

[reformedsinner]

Gonou laughs, letting the last of his tension dissolve away as he puts a hand on Jedao's chest to push him gently back down to the mattress. He had been mostly done cleaning Jedao up; a few more swipes of the washcloth clean away the last of it, and he hands it across to Jedao despite the way he feels a sudden spike of nervous vulnerability at the idea of letting someone else clean him up.

[deuceoftears]

Jedao leans up to kiss him again as he takes it, slow and sweet.

"You're so beautiful, you know?" he murmurs, nudging Gonou onto his side and gently swiping his belly clean first, eyes still on Gonou's face, rather than the scar there. "I want to kiss your calves and your collarbones all over. I want to bite your butt and see if you make that noise again."

[reformedsinner]

Pliant, Gonou allows himself to be nudged, smiling at Jedao, helplessly fond. His ears are warming at the praise. He doesn't think he's beautiful, but he's also never spent time thinking about the attractiveness of his calves.

"I don't know what noise I'll make. You should try it and find out," he murmurs.

[deuceoftears]

"You made a nice one when I squeezed it," Jedao muses, gently lifting Gonou's cock to wipe it clean as well, giving a casual, appreciative stroke while he's there. He's aware of the cascading innuendos, scurrying in multiple directions like a rats caught in the pantry, but keeps his voice completely mild and sincere.

"Perhaps something similar."

[reformedsinner]

Gonou's breath catches, his cock twitching in Jedao's grip; it takes him a moment to reply in a voice that's dropped half an octave and gone considerably throatier.

"Now you're teasing..."

[deuceoftears]

"Is it still teasing if I mean it?" Jedao asks, eyes twinkling, gently washing Gonou's sac and thighs, even though they aren't half as messy as his were.

[reformedsinner]

Gonou lets his legs fall a little further open, flush working its way blotchily down to his chest.

"Maybe not," he concedes.

[deuceoftears]

"Because I do. I mean it very much," Jedao promises, scooting down a little, leaning over to drop a soft kiss against Gonou's sternum.

[reformedsinner]

"You'll spoil me," Gonou says, sliding one hand into Jedao's short bristle of hair and letting the strands catch between his fingers. His voice is still low and throaty, but there's a note of fondness to it, too.

And uncertainty. It's an unfamiliar dynamic, being taken care of and indulged; he doesn't quite know how to handle it, even as he finds it -- strangely warming.