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[deuceoftears]

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audio

[reformedsinner]

[late at night, after this]

Are you awake?

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[deuceoftears]

I can be.

[His voice is a little muzzy, but warm.]

What's happened?

Re: audio

[reformedsinner]

[Oh, he is glad he called: he already feels better, just hearing Jedao's voice. His own tone is warming.]

I did wake you up. I'm sorry....

I, ah. Wondered if it would be okay if I came over and just -- leaned on you for a little while.

Re: audio

[deuceoftears]

It's alright. I like you more than sleep.

I'm in James' cabin now, 8-09, but he's next door with Raylan. I'd appreciate the company, really.

Re: audio

[reformedsinner]

[Softly] I'll be over soon. Thank you.

[It takes him a few minutes; he'd been up on the deck, so there are a lot of stairs, and he's not going to run down them and make noise at this hour of the night.

He knocks on the door of 809 when he arrives, a quick double-rap of his knuckles against the heavy wood.]

>spam

[deuceoftears]

Jedao lets him into the ship's cabin, all old wood and library books. Jedao wraps his arms around Gonou in a tight hug as soon as the door's closed behind him.

Re: >spam

[reformedsinner]

Gonou lets out a tiny surprised huff of breath at the hug, but, after a moment, slips his arms around Jedao's waist and tucks his chin down against his shoulder.

"Thank you for indulging me," he murmurs. It's embarrassing, having his feelings hurt like a child, over something that is objectively not even about him. But it still stings.

[deuceoftears]

Jedao gives him a tighter little squeeze.

"I like this. It's cozy. I might start rolling dice to bother you random nights," Jedao muses.

"Do you want to talk about it, or do you want me to suck your dick about it, or do you want to see if we can cuddle in a hammock without anybody falling out?"

[reformedsinner]

"You should," Gonou agrees. "Or just come bother me, no matter what the dice say. I--"

Suck your dick about it-- he huffs something almost like a laugh, heart squeezing painfully. He wants to claw his own skin off; he can't imagine feeling any less sexy than he does right now, but he still loves Jedao a little more for the casual ease of the offer. It's nice to be reminded that he doesn't have to be seen as his crimes first.

"Scientific curiosity says hammock first," he says, wry with the obvious excuse. "And let's talk about something else. I don't want to talk about it yet."

Maybe once he's had a little time to unwind, and possibly laugh about misplaced elbows while they try to fit into a hammock. But not yet.

[deuceoftears]

"You're taller, so you get in first?" Jedao speculates, eyeing the hammock thoughtfully. Flint sleeps there when he isn't with Raylan, so it's got to be firmly attached, at least.

[reformedsinner]

Gonou flashes him a small, grateful smile, toes off his shoes beside the door, and tries sitting on the edge of the hammock with wary care.

It sags beneath him and dumps him ass-first into the center of the hammock with a stifled squawk and without either balance or dignity.

[deuceoftears]

He mostly manages to suppress a giggle but the corners of his eyes crinkle up.

"Well, that's one way to do it. Are you comfortable?"

[reformedsinner]

"More or less," Gonou says, squirming into a vaguely more dignified position. "... you sleep in this? Mr Flint sleeps in this?"

How even.

[deuceoftears]

"I kind of like it," Jedao admits. He gives the hammock a very careful, gentle nudge so that Gonou can feel it swaying back and forth. "Like that. It's...soothing?"

[reformedsinner]

"I'd wake up netted like a fish," Gonou mutters, and attempts to make room in the hammock as its swaying slows to a stop.

"Here-- I do think we can fit."

[deuceoftears]

Jedao gets a knee up into the hammock.

"Yeah - hold on there, the more weight I put in the more it'll tilt, but if you don't roll into me we should balance alright."

He reaches a hand over Gonou's body to grip the far side of the hammock, starting off as a brace that will turn later into a cling, and then shifts his weight, maneuvering quickly enough to avoid flipping anyone out, although he does end up sprawled somewhat heavily and unceremoniously on top of Gonou.

"Oops," he says, utterly unrepentant, and drops a kiss on Gonou's cheeks.

[reformedsinner]

Gonou has excellent balance, when he's not being startled by unfamiliar furniture; he braces himself against the hammock as Jedao drops himself in with better grace than he'd managed, hangs on, and is promptly flattened beneath Jedao's weight.

He laughs softly at the unconvincing 'oops,' settling his arms around Jedao's waist as he wiggles his shoulders into a slightly more comfortable position.

"You didn't mean to do that?" he teases, and returns the cheek kiss with a brush of dry lips. "Well. So it can hold two." Although he wouldn't like to test it by moving around too much with both of their weight on the ropes.

[deuceoftears]

"Maybe I didn't," Jedao says loftily, ruining it right at the end with a small yawn, and he snuggles in, which doesn't really bring them any closer but does make it that much more apparent how close they are; he nuzzles Gonou's neck and sticks a hand under his shirt to hold him. There's no particular teasing, just the drape of Jedao's hand and forearm loosely over Gonou's belly.

[reformedsinner]

"Maybe you did," Gonou teases back, soft, and turns his face against Jedao's hair. He closes his eyes, breathing in, long and shakily; there are a few goosebumps puckering his skin under Jedao's fingertips.

"...If you want to go back to sleep," he murmurs, "that would be all right, too."

[deuceoftears]

"I'm not sure what else to talk about is all," he murmurs. "I haven't done anything except fret about James lately."

[reformedsinner]

"Mm," Gonou muses. "I helped him fight some simulations in the Enclosure the other day... it seems he's still very upset."

[deuceoftears]

Jedao huffs out a long sigh.

"Yes. And he gets to be upset, but he's just - it's more than that, he's stuck. And I don't know how to get him unstuck."

[reformedsinner]

"I don't think vengeance is -- right," Gonou murmurs, his fingers absently counting over the ridges of Jedao's backbone as he thinks. "He thinks it's what he needs, and I'm sure he'd feel better for it, but that's part of his problem, isn't it?

"Maybe he just needs time. To see that his not getting vengeance doesn't mean Cloud is going to hurt someone he loves again."

[deuceoftears]

"Maybe he would. But he also wants to protect his people, and he can't protect anyone with simple violence, not here. It doesn't stop anyone, it just pisses them off. So I want to give him alternatives but I don't know what a better alternative than look, he's still alive could be."

James needs not to feel helpless, and in some ways the barge makes that even harder than an empire.

[reformedsinner]

"I don't know either. From what I heard from Raylan -- it was really just an accident. He was startled out of sleep, he lashed out, he called for help the moment he realized what he'd done...."

It hadn't made Raylan any less dead, but it made violent revenge even more pointless.

"You can't really plan against accidents like that."

Phrased that way, he can see why Flint's so stuck on it: there are some things that can't be protected against. To lose a lover to one of them-- well. It's not easy.