"Not if you're distracted, you won't," he comments in a dry mutter, but he is very much turning on the monoxide detector, which to the Barge's credit actually looks like one of those remote-y wands with a big ol' butt on the top for the actual detecting, and runs it through a quick initialisation to establish a baseline while the air was still good.
Though it's his turn for a question now. "So, wait-" he looks back at Jedao, more confident now the mood is behind them. "You really haven't been on like. Proper Terra Firma before?"
"Just the one with the dinosaurs, and the one with New York."
But a New York of canals and waterways and far future, post-post-apocalypse ecopunk, not the one Eiffel would recognize from his own time. Jedao shrugs, but adds wistfully, "Before I came here I was on a station that orbited a planet, at least. I could look out one of the observation bubbles and see the big storms when they were in season."
"Huh. Kinda like being on the Hephaestus, I guess." Being able to see the solar flares was definitely beautiful, on the days where it wasn't exhausting or terrifying or boring. "I can't imagine spending my whole life out there. But... I guess when you have, that doesn't seem so weird, huh."
"It doesn't feel weird. I'd get wistful about it. What it might be like. But...there were people on the Citadel of Eyes. More than Hephaestus or the barge, at least, even if who I could actually talk to was pretty controlled."
Which is not the place Eiffel saw in Jedao's memory - but really, being under Kujen's thumb and Mikodez's thumb were similar enough, once you took the war out of the equation.
"You think that's a perk on the Barge, in comparison?" he asks idly, flicking his torch up as his attention catches on one of the big ol' snails making its way downtown. "You can always get up in people's business here, barely any excuses required."
"People don't hate me here. That's the perk." Even if Jedao isn't particularly outgoing, it's nice to have the option to just...talk to someone, without the weight of the Immolation Fox hanging over everything.
"Oh, wow...it's all..." Jedao is genuinely fascinated by this snail, now.
"Oh, yeah." He looks back at Jedao with a pleased little smile, at the way his friend lights up at the discovery. "You could see a few of these guys from the Barge, they're pretty cool. They look like when you stick a magnet in a bucket of iron filings. You think we can...?"
He's going to move forward, closer to it, and stand up on his toes to try and reach it to poke it in the weird metal plates.
He doesn't flinch when he's grabbed, but he looks back at Jedao quickly in surprise.
And. "Oh, yeah, that's- probably a good idea." He'll step back, but make a grandiose gesture up to the snail with his free hand and a bright grin. "All yours, Jepolean."
Jedao's already grinning, but his eyes crinkle a little more at the mystery nickname. He gives the snail a tentative brush on its shell. Nothing stings or burns, and the snail itself - confident in its armor - trundles along without seeming bothered.
Eiffel grins perhaps a bit too eagerly when it's his turn to pat the snail, trying to make sure he avoids its noodly eye stalks and giving an excited little giggle despite himself.
"I know this is probably like super normal to some people but it's still weird," he says brightly, still watching the snail toddle along as he stands down again.
"It's neat. They're so - I don't know. Different from anything."
He doesn't say different from cats, because that sounds very dumb and obvious in his head. But for a long time, Zehun's cats were the only live animals he'd ever encountered.
"We've sorta got snails back on Earth like that," he says as they keep moving, "But they're not normally that big. Or that metal. Normally you'd see them in places that are all plant-y, like the greenhouse." He swings his torch as he talks. "Only I don't think you'd want normal ones in the greenhouse, they'd try and eat all the plants. Really, really slowly."
"Mmm, slug. Delicious," Jedao murmurs, which is even sillier from a guy that Eiffel has never observed eating with anything other that stoic, mechanical speed.
Honestly he's just glad someone hates the concept as much as him.
"And other bugs too! There are some places that do, like, deep fried crickets and grubs and there's this one stinking ass cheese that's got maggots in it?"
He pauses and glances away, as his voice echoes down the cave into silence. "Or wait, maybe that one's mold."
"Ohohooo, my poor dietarily challenged friend. Cheese is the stuff of gods." He counts his fingers out with flicks of his wrist as he counts off the ways. "You can grill it in a sandwich, deep fry it in batter, melt it so you can dip other food into it! It's got infinite possibilities!"
"I'm not gonna make you eat any of it," he comments dryly. Takes a moment to kick a large rock from underfoot and watch it roll down the gentle slope of their path. "But in my opinion? I reckon a good enough bowl of mac and cheese with the works is better than sex."
He's aware that humans enjoy human food. He vaguely remembers expecting food to be pleasant, before finding out that it isn't. But he's had mac and cheese, easy-to-prep barge staple that it is, and a theoretically easy-to-consume bomb of calories and dairy protein that would fulfill all his promises to Hemiola about getting enough to eat every day.
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Though it's his turn for a question now. "So, wait-" he looks back at Jedao, more confident now the mood is behind them. "You really haven't been on like. Proper Terra Firma before?"
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But a New York of canals and waterways and far future, post-post-apocalypse ecopunk, not the one Eiffel would recognize from his own time. Jedao shrugs, but adds wistfully, "Before I came here I was on a station that orbited a planet, at least. I could look out one of the observation bubbles and see the big storms when they were in season."
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Which is not the place Eiffel saw in Jedao's memory - but really, being under Kujen's thumb and Mikodez's thumb were similar enough, once you took the war out of the equation.
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"Oh, wow...it's all..." Jedao is genuinely fascinated by this snail, now.
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He's going to move forward, closer to it, and stand up on his toes to try and reach it to poke it in the weird metal plates.
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Jedao catches Eiffel's wrist just before contact.
"Maybe let me try first? In case it stings or something?"
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And. "Oh, yeah, that's- probably a good idea." He'll step back, but make a grandiose gesture up to the snail with his free hand and a bright grin. "All yours, Jepolean."
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"Okay, seems fine."
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"I know this is probably like super normal to some people but it's still weird," he says brightly, still watching the snail toddle along as he stands down again.
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He doesn't say different from cats, because that sounds very dumb and obvious in his head. But for a long time, Zehun's cats were the only live animals he'd ever encountered.
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"I like that it wasn't scared of us. Just...kept on scooching."
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"Christ. You know people actually eat those, right? Like snails and things. On purpose!"
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"I don't know why I'm surprised."
CW bug food
"And other bugs too! There are some places that do, like, deep fried crickets and grubs and there's this one stinking ass cheese that's got maggots in it?"
He pauses and glances away, as his voice echoes down the cave into silence. "Or wait, maybe that one's mold."
Re: CW bug food
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"Ohohooo, my poor dietarily challenged friend. Cheese is the stuff of gods." He counts his fingers out with flicks of his wrist as he counts off the ways. "You can grill it in a sandwich, deep fry it in batter, melt it so you can dip other food into it! It's got infinite possibilities!"
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"...great," he manages, unconvincingly.
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"I'm not gonna make you eat any of it," he comments dryly. Takes a moment to kick a large rock from underfoot and watch it roll down the gentle slope of their path. "But in my opinion? I reckon a good enough bowl of mac and cheese with the works is better than sex."
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Like slugs, Eiffel!
He's aware that humans enjoy human food. He vaguely remembers expecting food to be pleasant, before finding out that it isn't. But he's had mac and cheese, easy-to-prep barge staple that it is, and a theoretically easy-to-consume bomb of calories and dairy protein that would fulfill all his promises to Hemiola about getting enough to eat every day.
"You are not having sex correctly."
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