Hakkai curls in against him, fishing his communicator out of his pocket and settling it on his uppermost knee, turning it so Jedao can easily see the screen as he types.
I made Malcolm promise that he'd keep Kikimora away from Sebastian and respond immediately if Sebastian contacted him about her behavior.
But he outright told me that he thinks this is the only time Kikimora has tried to provoke Sebastian, and their last altercation was Sebastian's fault, to which this was a response.
I tried to explain why I thought Kikimora was repeatedly provoking him, but he told me I was arguing in bad faith and acting like Sebastian was an angel.
So I don't trust that he won't answer Sebastian's call for help and then berate Sebastian for it if Sebastian hasn't already been hurt. Am I supposed to tell Sebastian to trust someone who I don't?
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
Jedao takes it from Hakkai's hands and continues the message, unsent, since Hakkai made sure he can read it regardless; Hakkai can decide later if he wants to have a record of his thoughts or wipe it clean.
If you don't trust him, and you're already graduated, then obviously learning to do that isn't something Sebastian needs to be free.
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
No. But encouraging Sebastian to put a table knife through one of Kikimora's eyes if she bothers him again isn't going to help him graduate either.
I think it matters that he feels valued. That he feels that people believe him -- not just me.
He shakes his head, the corner of his mouth compressing with genuine unhappiness. Malcolm may not know that his cruel dismissals of Sebastian matter. Malcolm may think that the two of them are fine because Sebastian has the self-control to speak to him calmly. But without exposing Sebastian's vulnerabilities to someone who's already used those vulnerabilities against him as cruelly as possible, Hakkai doesn't know how to make it clear to Malcolm that he's done harm.
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
I value him, too. But outside the barge there are provocations and idiots with authority too, and you still generally should be selective about eye-stabbing.
Does he have any kind of powers that could
harmlessly, humiliatingly, pick her up and roll her out of his vicinity like an unruly armadillo
because if Malcolm doesn't want that to happen he can just get her to stop
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
No, his powers are much more like mine. He's strong, fast, physically very dangerous and resistant to harm....
He'd have to lay hands on her to roll her around. She'd use that as an excuse for violence and Malcolm would use it as an excuse to blame him for provoking her.
He slumps. It's possible that it's unfair to Malcolm to believe that; he hadn't tried to argue that Sebastian had provoked today's incident by asking Kikimora not to steal meat from the kitchens while taunting the employees who ask her to stop. But he'd been so focused on the idea that Sebastian must have been guilty last time.
The thing is, you see, he hasn't stabbed anyone. He has grabbed Kikimora by the wrist a few times and physically thrown her out of the dining hall once. He's been restraining himself.
He's trying, and if his trying gets him humiliated and condescended to by the Warden whose inmate is harassing him, I'm afraid he's going to change tactics.
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
Well, if it's not working, then he should change tactics. We just have to give him better new tactics to try.
When your own skills aren't suited to resolving a situation, you find someone else who does have the right skills. If neither of you trusts Malcolm to respond to the situation productively when notified, then Sebastian should notify me instead, and I'll float her away.
If you think 'asking for help' is still too advanced for him, you could suggest he make a bargain with me about it. Exercises in taking the initiative in strictly tactical cooperation. And cooperation is just getting people to do what you want. If you think about it, it's just manipulation with fewer steps.
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
Asking for help is hard for him. But I think he'd be very open to it in this situation. I told him to call Malcolm and not let Kikimora goad him, and he did that this time.
I'm considering speaking with Kikimora directly to help resolve the situation, to be honest.
He stares at the communicator for a long moment, tucking himself down against Jedao's shoulder, and then adds, long fingers flying over the keyboard:
I'm angry that Malcolm won't do his job and doesn't care. He can be worked around, but I'm still angry.
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
Jedao leans his head on top of Hakkai's head, and he pauses for a little while before his own reply comes.
I think he does care, and is trying to do his job as he sees it. But that doesn't make it any less infuriating that his priorities are different and his choices have been harmful. You should be able to rely on him, and whether your fears about what he would do are true or not, the fact is that he's failed to earn your trust or allay those fears.
It sucks. I'm sorry.
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
He certainly doesn't care about Sebastian. Kikimora, yes.
He's been tolerably clear about his opinions on Sebastian. He might think that none of those opinions count as ill will, but that's only because he's decided they're all objective facts.
Hakkai makes a grumbling noise deep in his throat, letting Jedao's head rest on his own, and leans into it despite his stiff-necked annoyance.
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
Jedao pauses for a few moments, fingers still as he tries to phrase it right.
I think his bias is distorting his understanding of what's really happened, or could have happened. And that's difficult for anyone to break out of, unless they're willing to listen to outside voices.
And he generally isn't. That's on him.
There's more Jedao could say, but not without saying things that he feels Malcolm told him in confidence, rather than his own observations.
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
I don't even know for certain that it's bias. I've asked him twice now why he thinks Kikimora wasn't deliberately provoking Sebastian last time, and explained why I think she was. Both times he told me that I was asking in bad faith, so he wouldn't tell me his reasons.
But it could be that he has better reasons.
He doubts it. If Malcolm had a good reason, Hakkai suspects he'd have given it: but maybe he genuinely assumed Hakkai's bad faith from the fact that he didn't agree without evidence.
With a sigh, he shakes his head, and types swiftly.
I don't think you and I can solve him between us.
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
Hakkai nods, leaving the communicator to balance precariously on his knee as he turns to kiss Jedao, careful and sweet. He cups Jedao's cheek in his palm, every gesture I love you too.
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
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Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
I made Malcolm promise that he'd keep Kikimora away from Sebastian and respond immediately if Sebastian contacted him about her behavior.
But he outright told me that he thinks this is the only time Kikimora has tried to provoke Sebastian, and their last altercation was Sebastian's fault, to which this was a response.
I tried to explain why I thought Kikimora was repeatedly provoking him, but he told me I was arguing in bad faith and acting like Sebastian was an angel.
So I don't trust that he won't answer Sebastian's call for help and then berate Sebastian for it if Sebastian hasn't already been hurt. Am I supposed to tell Sebastian to trust someone who I don't?
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
If you don't trust him, and you're already graduated, then obviously learning to do that isn't something Sebastian needs to be free.
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
I think it matters that he feels valued. That he feels that people believe him -- not just me.
He shakes his head, the corner of his mouth compressing with genuine unhappiness. Malcolm may not know that his cruel dismissals of Sebastian matter. Malcolm may think that the two of them are fine because Sebastian has the self-control to speak to him calmly. But without exposing Sebastian's vulnerabilities to someone who's already used those vulnerabilities against him as cruelly as possible, Hakkai doesn't know how to make it clear to Malcolm that he's done harm.
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
Does he have any kind of powers that could
harmlessly, humiliatingly, pick her up and roll her out of his vicinity like an unruly armadillo
because if Malcolm doesn't want that to happen he can just get her to stop
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
No, his powers are much more like mine. He's strong, fast, physically very dangerous and resistant to harm....
He'd have to lay hands on her to roll her around. She'd use that as an excuse for violence and Malcolm would use it as an excuse to blame him for provoking her.
He slumps. It's possible that it's unfair to Malcolm to believe that; he hadn't tried to argue that Sebastian had provoked today's incident by asking Kikimora not to steal meat from the kitchens while taunting the employees who ask her to stop. But he'd been so focused on the idea that Sebastian must have been guilty last time.
The thing is, you see, he hasn't stabbed anyone. He has grabbed Kikimora by the wrist a few times and physically thrown her out of the dining hall once. He's been restraining himself.
He's trying, and if his trying gets him humiliated and condescended to by the Warden whose inmate is harassing him, I'm afraid he's going to change tactics.
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
When your own skills aren't suited to resolving a situation, you find someone else who does have the right skills. If neither of you trusts Malcolm to respond to the situation productively when notified, then Sebastian should notify me instead, and I'll float her away.
If you think 'asking for help' is still too advanced for him, you could suggest he make a bargain with me about it. Exercises in taking the initiative in strictly tactical cooperation. And cooperation is just getting people to do what you want. If you think about it, it's just manipulation with fewer steps.
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
I'm considering speaking with Kikimora directly to help resolve the situation, to be honest.
He stares at the communicator for a long moment, tucking himself down against Jedao's shoulder, and then adds, long fingers flying over the keyboard:
I'm angry that Malcolm won't do his job and doesn't care. He can be worked around, but I'm still angry.
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
I think he does care, and is trying to do his job as he sees it. But that doesn't make it any less infuriating that his priorities are different and his choices have been harmful. You should be able to rely on him, and whether your fears about what he would do are true or not, the fact is that he's failed to earn your trust or allay those fears.
It sucks. I'm sorry.
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
He's been tolerably clear about his opinions on Sebastian. He might think that none of those opinions count as ill will, but that's only because he's decided they're all objective facts.
Hakkai makes a grumbling noise deep in his throat, letting Jedao's head rest on his own, and leans into it despite his stiff-necked annoyance.
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
I think he cares about...resolving the situation fairly. But not about Sebastian, no. And I don't think he's competent enough to overcome his bias.
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
Fair is not the same as "equal blame." I don't know if that's bias or careless thinking.
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
Jedao pauses for a few moments, fingers still as he tries to phrase it right.
I think his bias is distorting his understanding of what's really happened, or could have happened. And that's difficult for anyone to break out of, unless they're willing to listen to outside voices.
And he generally isn't. That's on him.
There's more Jedao could say, but not without saying things that he feels Malcolm told him in confidence, rather than his own observations.
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
But it could be that he has better reasons.
He doubts it. If Malcolm had a good reason, Hakkai suspects he'd have given it: but maybe he genuinely assumed Hakkai's bad faith from the fact that he didn't agree without evidence.
With a sigh, he shakes his head, and types swiftly.
I don't think you and I can solve him between us.
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
That's a promise.
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood
Re: towards the end of the Sticks and Stones flood