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[deuceoftears]

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CW - mention of extreme sexual S/M that resembles actual torture

[deuceoftears]

“Come back to the bed,” Jedao murmurs, after a soft moan as he pumps his hips, sliding against the sinewy muscle of Gonou’s leg.

“On top of me, like before, so you can fuck my thighs.” Jedao wouldn’t mind being fucked dry, he thinks, but Dhanneth never did it even when he had Jedao half skinned beneath him, so Jedao is pretty sure that in real life that’s uncomfortable for the top, too, even if Jedao were willing to pressure Gonou into hurting him like that, which he isn’t. Thighs would be better with something slick, but doable without it, and it means they don’t have to stop.

[reformedsinner]

Gonou makes a soft sound around Jedao's finger at that suggestion, and lets it slip from his mouth with one last brush of teeth.

"Yes," he whispers softly, "let's," and presses Jedao back towards the bed with gentle urgency. It fits what he's wanting exactly: skin to skin everywhere, able to kiss and touch and hold Jedao the whole time. Able to hold him down and keep him safe.

He'll follow Jedao down to the mattress, kissing a line along his jaw and down his throat.

[deuceoftears]

“Also, you can put me where you want me,” Jedao breathes, with a glinting smile and another quick rock of his hips as he lets himself be nudged, sprawling back on the bed and reaching to half pull Gonou down after him, half support him so he doesn’t jostle anything on the way down.

“Anytime. I like that.”

[reformedsinner]

"Can I?" Gonou murmurs, following Jedao down to the bed without letting him get too far away. He catches himself on one hand, planted just above Jedao's shoulder, and smiles down at him, half tender and half predatory intensity.

"Good," he says, and grabs his pillow to tuck it underneath Jedao's head, leaning down for a passionate kiss as he drags that free hand down slowly from Jedao's neck towards his cock.

[deuceoftears]

The urge to wrap his legs around Gonou's hips after all, to just tell him to go for it and get fucked drowns him for a moment; he gasps and moans deeply into the kiss, one of his hands clutching in Gonou's hair and the other splaying over his back.

"Yes," Jedao mumbles, half actual answer, half pure exclamation. He strokes his hand down Gonou's spine.

[reformedsinner]

Words are deserting him as he loses himself in sensation, nipping Jedao's lower lip gently as he pulls back from the kiss. He wraps his hand around Jedao's cock, strokes once, his own calluses catching a little on the suede-soft skin. Too dry for comfort, he thinks, and lifts his hand to spit into it unselfconsciously, reaching down once more to work him with his newly slick palm.

[deuceoftears]

"Put your fingers in my mouth," Jedao murmurs, chasing more kisses, groaning deep in his chest as he's touched, not sure if he's demanding or begging. He digs short fingernails into the meat of Gonou's shoulderblades, pushing into Gonou's touch as much as he can with the other man's weight on top of him.

[reformedsinner]

Demand or plea, Gonou is happy to comply; he shifts his weight slightly, grinding down against Jedao as he pulls his hand away and presses his fingers against Jedao's lower lip.

[deuceoftears]

Jedao doesn't bother to tease, just opens and swallows around them, his tongue laving and swirling between each one, getting them as wet as he can. He starts off deliberately meeting Gonou's eyes, sucking and drooling with shameless, aggressive enthusiasm, but the act itself makes him moan and twitch and leak against Gonou's stomach, and at some point his eyelids start to lower as he loses himself in the pleasure of it.

[reformedsinner]

Gonou bites off a brief groan, full-voiced, as Jedao's tongue curls around his fingers; he pushes two fingers further into Jedao's mouth, heavy against his tongue. He watches with hunger-darkened, unblinking gaze as Jedao slides from his first, deliberately seductive stare to moaning distraction. The muscles of his stomach clench and ripple in response as he feels those involuntary twitches, for a drawn-out moment before he wants too badly to wait any longer.

He pulls his hand away from Jedao's mouth, leaning in to kiss him hard as he reaches down to slick his own cock first with his wet hand, then puts a hand on Jedao's thigh to press his legs together as he pushes between them. His breath stutters, and his hips stutter too, thrusting against hot velvet skin as he lets his hand slip back over to wrap around Jedao's erection and stroke roughly.

[deuceoftears]

Jedao flexes his thighs on purpose, toes curling involuntarily. His hands stroke and scratch and scrabble over Gonou's back. He's making low, hungry, almost-bewildered noises into the kiss, which is ferocious and wonderful and saves him from yearning after Gonou's fingers, as he does his best to drink Gonou down through his mouth instead.

[reformedsinner]

The kiss is messy, devouring; Gonou is dizzy with the sheer overwhelming sensation of wanting and being wanted in turn. Jedao's hungry mouth on his, the hands clawing at his back and the way his legs flex and tighten-- he feels surrounded, feels borderless, as though their edges might overlap and blur in the heat building between them.

His lips are clumsy, half-missing Jedao's mouth as he pants for breath; he won't last long, he knows, but even as he feels the tension low in his belly wind tighter, he's trying to resist the inevitable release.

[deuceoftears]

He loves being able to feel the building frenzy in Gonou's body, the wildness and desperation of it, the surging physical drive.

"Yeah," Jedao breathes, a rough slipshod rumble between sloppy kisses. "Give it to me, take me, need you..."

[reformedsinner]

Gonou cries out, wordless and raw, as pleasure breaks over him and he comes with a few last ragged thrusts between Jedao's thighs. His hand stills on Jedao's cock for a long moment as he shudders through it, but then begins moving again, fast and demanding even as his weight settles on Jedao's chest.

"Come for me," he whispers against Jedao's jaw, lips grazing skin; he's still shivering, overstimulated and still wanting.

[deuceoftears]

Jedao feels stunned in the best way by Gonou's climax, hypersensitive to it, like the pleasure is overflowing through him and into Jedao along with the hot splash of come between his legs. Knowing that he's done that, made Gonou feel like that, shudder like that, moan like that, ripples all over him like electricity, like light, like deep subharmonic vibrations. It's unbearably good, and it ratchets everything in him tight, so that he's so close, so close.

"Bite me again," Jedao gasps, yearning for it, needing it, the surge of breath in his chest making the skin of his chest press closer where Gonou is crushing perfectly on top of him.

[reformedsinner]

Gonou's teeth catch his throat, just above the jut of his collarbone, and he bites with controlled force, pinning Jedao with his teeth as much as with his weight.

His brain is all dazed emptiness around a spill of possessives, mine and yours jumbled together into an impressionistic muddle.

[deuceoftears]

Jedao's whole body goes rigid, trying to arch underneath Gonou even though he can't, not really, not much, and that only makes it better, held down so perfectly, so certainly, he's here because Gonou wants him here, wants him, and he can't hide or run or wriggle away. The flicker of pain and the wet hot brand of Gonou's mouth sear through him, and he comes with a raw, garbled shriek, clutching Gonou's back, hips twitching, breath heaving and straining until it subsides into soft pants and sweet whimpers through the aftershocks.

[reformedsinner]

Gonou curls around him, catching his breath as he shifts his weight enough off to one side that he can wrap his arms around Jedao in turn, pulling him into a tight embrace.

He tucks his head down against Jedao's throat, breath hot against his collarbone; he still feels as though words have deserted him, leaving his mind echoing, overwhelmed and vulnerable but safe here, safe with him.

[deuceoftears]

Jedao makes a soft regretful noise when Gonou shifts his weight off of him, but eagerly curls up into his arms. He breathes shakily, a wave of strange, far-off emotion crashing through him in the wake of his orgasm, like the absence of thoughts and the collapsed crest of pleasure and adrenaline created a vacuum pressure differential, like air rushing out of a hull breach, like troops pouring through the empty streets of an evacuated city. He didn't think he'd get to have this again, with Gonou or with anyone, not sex or love or the simple affectionate warm of intimacy, being held, being wanted.

Thank you and I love you and You're perfect all feel unbearably tactless to say, the kind of thing he knows from Hemiola's dramas and student gossip is unbearably, humiliatingly mawkish to say right after sex, the kind of thing that would get a laugh track or a worrisome 'this was a mistake' music cue.

Jedao realizes after a moment that without Gonou to hold him down, he's shaking.

[reformedsinner]

The aftermath feels more overwhelming, somehow, than sex, with the urgency of desire ebbing into the simple reality of being here afterwards, cracked-open and fragile in Jedao's arms.

He's trembling, Gonou realizes, slowly, and shifts his grip to press a splayed hand between Jedao's shoulderblades. Words still feel far beyond him, and while he can feel emotion distending his chest like a strange bubble, he can't begin to name it beyond not bad. He can, at least, still speak with a touch.

[deuceoftears]

Jedao takes in a huge, shuddering breath, wriggling as he tries mostly unsuccessfully to press himself even closer.

"Sorry," he whispers, grateful that they're too closely entangled to look Gonou in the eye.

[reformedsinner]

Gonou shakes his head firmly, refusing the apology, and tries with only slightly more success to pull Jedao closer into his embrace, legs tangling messily.

"Don't be," he murmurs back, and presses a kiss to the soft hollow of his collarbone. "I'm... happy."

Happy isn't the word -- it's inadequate, to start with, and it's not nearly complicated enough to cover all the things in that strange bubble of emotion -- but it's a start. It's not wrong. Jedao doesn't have anything to be sorry for.

[deuceoftears]

"I'm happy," Jedao retorts, and something in him that was twisted and straining snaps at the absurdity of it, a sudden rush of ease and relief. He starts to laugh, helpless little giggles like clusters of bursting bubbles, and nuzzles his face against Gonou's shoulder.

"I'm happy," he echoes again, softer, with quiet wonder, like it's a secret. Gonou is happy, is still happy, doesn't hate him or want to run. He's holding Jedao close because he wants Jedao to stay. Because it was good, because he's happy.

[reformedsinner]

Gonou's heart aches at the wonder in Jedao's tone: as if he hadn't expected to be, as if even now it's a shock that they're here together and Gonou isn't rejecting him. He presses his face into Jedao's hair, sliding his other hand up to cradle the back of Jedao's head.

"I love you," he says, soft and fierce, like a vow.

[deuceoftears]

It doesn't feel mawkish when Gonou says it. It feels like an un-looked-for blessing.

"I love you so much," Jedao replies, just as fiercely, clinging on tight to Gonou's back.