The door beeps uncertainly, then starts to slide away into the wall. Jedao, on the other side, waves from the couch where has a beautiful red and gold tea service set out on the coffee table.
[Right after all THIS BUSINESS.]
As soon as the doors to Jedao's cabin open, Edwin darts inside, listening for whatever telltale signs of Dad exist and beelining for wherever they are.
As soon as the doors to Jedao's cabin open, Edwin darts inside, listening for whatever telltale signs of Dad exist and beelining for wherever they are.
There are muffled voices coming from his study - Jedao is catching up on his network stalking.
Sanzo's back, with news of some fresh disaster?
It might be more polite to request a meeting with xiao Jedao on the network, but Shen Wei is uncharacteristically restless and impatient. He expects Zhao Yunlan will sleep quite late this morning, and he would like to return to him with this settled and off his shoulders, and so he simply follows his sense of his warden through the quiet, sparsely populated halls of the barge's early morning.
When He finds xiao Jedao he pauses at a polite distance and greets him with a respectful bow and an expression that's too serene to be anything but a mask. "Good morning, nephew."
When He finds xiao Jedao he pauses at a polite distance and greets him with a respectful bow and an expression that's too serene to be anything but a mask. "Good morning, nephew."
Re: Early morning after he awakens from his latest coma
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deuceoftears
2024-06-09 09:18 pm (UTC)(link)
"Good morning, uncle," Jedao murmurs, letting him in and pouring him another cup of mild white tea.
"What can I do for you?"
He has a few things he's planning, now that they're getting down to gardening business, but since Shen Wei is clearly gearing up for something Jedao is going to let him get it out, first.
"What can I do for you?"
He has a few things he's planning, now that they're getting down to gardening business, but since Shen Wei is clearly gearing up for something Jedao is going to let him get it out, first.
Re: Early morning after he awakens from his latest coma
brotherblack
- 2024-06-09 22:29 (UTC) - ExpandRe: Early morning after he awakens from his latest coma
deuceoftears
- 2024-06-09 23:41 (UTC) - ExpandRe: Early morning after he awakens from his latest coma
brotherblack
- 2024-06-10 00:03 (UTC) - ExpandRe: Early morning after he awakens from his latest coma
deuceoftears
- 2024-06-10 00:17 (UTC) - ExpandRe: Early morning after he awakens from his latest coma
brotherblack
- 2024-06-10 00:39 (UTC) - ExpandSo the flood sure was a lot. It was so much, in fact, that it's not until things have been normal for most of an hour that Edwin realizes he didn't see Jedao much at all.
Which is worrying.
And there's a lot he wants to tell his dads.
He comes into the cabin with a barely-prefaced knock, sending a psychic wash of question and concern through the space to see where it finds someone inside.
Which is worrying.
And there's a lot he wants to tell his dads.
He comes into the cabin with a barely-prefaced knock, sending a psychic wash of question and concern through the space to see where it finds someone inside.
Normally, the door opens automatically. This time it doesn't, though.
Edwin! Hi, um, is it an emergency?
Normally, Jedao projects his emotions pretty clearly when conversing with Edwin, but this comes across somewhat stilted, shorn, mostly just the words.
Edwin! Hi, um, is it an emergency?
Normally, Jedao projects his emotions pretty clearly when conversing with Edwin, but this comes across somewhat stilted, shorn, mostly just the words.
Jedao? Are you busy?
Should I come home?
[frommmm here]
"You're delicious," Astarion breathes, pressing kisses along his jaw and throat as he keeps tormenting him. "Tell me what you want, darling."
He whimpers a little more, easily tilting his head back against the door to give Astarion easier access to his throat.
"I like - almost everything," Jedao huffs, his cheeks going hot and pink for a moment in embarrassment, even if he's only admitting the obvious. "I want to be good. I want to be good for you."
It's not not praise kink, but it's not just that, either. Whatever it looks like, being good, being easy, being - an indulgence, not indulged and tolerated.
"I'm in your hands, remember?" He points out.
"I like - almost everything," Jedao huffs, his cheeks going hot and pink for a moment in embarrassment, even if he's only admitting the obvious. "I want to be good. I want to be good for you."
It's not not praise kink, but it's not just that, either. Whatever it looks like, being good, being easy, being - an indulgence, not indulged and tolerated.
"I'm in your hands, remember?" He points out.
[his voice is very quiet and very... small, somehow, entirely aside from how apologetic he sounds.]
When... when you're awake and have time, may I come to you?
When... when you're awake and have time, may I come to you?
[Jedao's voice is slightly muzzy, but the reply is immediate.]
I'll get the tea started.
I'll get the tea started.
after arthurfight - cw suicidal ideation/an attempt to squish the eldritch out of himself
howtheyshine
2024-07-13 06:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Edwin teleports straight into Jedao's kitchen, missing his intended mark slightly. He fumbles with his communicator, sends one furious and carefully spell-checked text, and then transports himself under Jedao's couch and into the shape of a cat.
And then on stupid whim he tries to make himself a cat. Tries to squeeze out everything that isn't that creature until cat is the thing that's left. Maybe he can't die, but he can at least cease to exist.
And then on stupid whim he tries to make himself a cat. Tries to squeeze out everything that isn't that creature until cat is the thing that's left. Maybe he can't die, but he can at least cease to exist.
Edited 2024-07-13 18:12 (UTC)
Re: after arthurfight - cw suicidal ideation/an attempt to squish the eldritch out of himself
deuceoftears
2024-07-13 06:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Jedao is not actually home at the moment. But that doesn't matter because he's rigged his room grid to alert his augment the moment Edwin does come home, so he ditches his Engine Room shift and he's walking back through the door in less than a minute.
He comes inside, tugging a throw pillow off the couch and sitting on the floor with it, next to where Edwin is hiding.
He puts his hand down near the opening, almost as if Edwin was a real cat he was coaxing out.
"Hi there, love," Jedao says gently, and nothing else.
He comes inside, tugging a throw pillow off the couch and sitting on the floor with it, next to where Edwin is hiding.
He puts his hand down near the opening, almost as if Edwin was a real cat he was coaxing out.
"Hi there, love," Jedao says gently, and nothing else.
Re: after arthurfight - cw suicidal ideation/an attempt to squish the eldritch out of himself
howtheyshine
- 2024-07-13 18:23 (UTC) - ExpandRe: after arthurfight - cw suicidal ideation/an attempt to squish the eldritch out of himself
deuceoftears
- 2024-07-13 18:28 (UTC) - ExpandRe: after arthurfight - cw suicidal ideation/an attempt to squish the eldritch out of himself
howtheyshine
- 2024-07-13 18:33 (UTC) - Expand[ It's the middle of the night. He's going to regret this in the morning. ]
how fucked up is it that i miss him
how fucked up is it that i miss him
Edited 2024-07-27 05:28 (UTC)
it's normal
bad intimacy is still intimate
when someone is
a big part of your emotional world, that makes them a little bit part of you. you lose them, it rips you up. your edges get woven together, and you end up with all these loose trailing threads when you tear away
sometimes i still miss my worst guy too
bad intimacy is still intimate
when someone is
a big part of your emotional world, that makes them a little bit part of you. you lose them, it rips you up. your edges get woven together, and you end up with all these loose trailing threads when you tear away
sometimes i still miss my worst guy too
[He and Edwin buried the hatchet a while ago. Edwin's come to him for advice since then, as a matter of fact. He's had time to think about the whole Hilbert thing and it's had time to die down. He's had time to be a snake and he's had time to get invited to a party, personally and for real. He's had time to get invited to the kitchen and kicked out in the same half hour. He's had time to get invited to learn how to drive and to agonize over whether to take the chance on that being genuine. Abel seems like a genuine guy.
Trevor seems like a genuine guy.
He's been hesitant to contact Jedao. Last time they talked properly, Jedao had suggested he would still be mad, even if Malcolm made things right with Edwin. At least... that was what he understood to be the terms. So it surprised him when Jedao defended his actions when Hilbert went murder-zombie. Was he not still mad, then? Is he just as good at compartmentalizing as he claims? Malcolm doesn't know, but he's wanted to talk to Jedao for a while. He plucks up the courage to make a call.]
Hi. Um. How are you? How was the breach for you?
Trevor seems like a genuine guy.
He's been hesitant to contact Jedao. Last time they talked properly, Jedao had suggested he would still be mad, even if Malcolm made things right with Edwin. At least... that was what he understood to be the terms. So it surprised him when Jedao defended his actions when Hilbert went murder-zombie. Was he not still mad, then? Is he just as good at compartmentalizing as he claims? Malcolm doesn't know, but he's wanted to talk to Jedao for a while. He plucks up the courage to make a call.]
Hi. Um. How are you? How was the breach for you?
[It's been a busy month for Jedao, too, mostly spent trying to help Edwin and John make up. Now -]
Mixed, but I'm hoping I can wrangle a friend out of it. And even the painful parts were...easy to understand, easy to leave in that life.
What about you?
Mixed, but I'm hoping I can wrangle a friend out of it. And even the painful parts were...easy to understand, easy to leave in that life.
What about you?
[Once she has time to do her research, she reaches out.]
Monsieur, I do believe we should talk.
The last warden I had was terrible. I should like to not start that way again.
Monsieur, I do believe we should talk.
The last warden I had was terrible. I should like to not start that way again.
My condolences, mademoiselle. I don't know Rawne well. I hope it was only blunt incompatibility, and nothing so intolerable I need to duel him for it?
[Brightly, but not completely insincere, if Rawne truly blundered egregiously, did something that needs correcting. He's been trying to get someone to let him duel for their honor for ages.]
And I appreciate your taking the initiative despite that. How would you like to start?
[Brightly, but not completely insincere, if Rawne truly blundered egregiously, did something that needs correcting. He's been trying to get someone to let him duel for their honor for ages.]
And I appreciate your taking the initiative despite that. How would you like to start?
Edited 2024-08-16 16:29 (UTC)
[A few hours after this. No preamble. It's more like words have broken a dam.]
I don't think what I was saying is what you thought I was saying.
I don't think what I was saying is what you thought I was saying.
What you said was that people with normal emotions and empathy don't commit atrocities.
People with normal emotions and empathy commit atrocities every day. It's the vast majority of cases.
People with normal emotions and empathy commit atrocities every day. It's the vast majority of cases.
Leaving the dishes in the sink after dinner, Hakkai heads over to Jedao, leaning down to give him a quick kiss.
"May I ask you something, Jedao-shei?"
"May I ask you something, Jedao-shei?"
He's done a fair bit of sleeping in this week, which he only does when he's sulking, even though he came back from what he darkly calls the other clean-up at least somewhat more reconciled to Eiffel's departure. He's not obviously in a bad way, just - holing up, a little bit, like a small animal in the winter, spending his small store of emotional energy mostly on checking in with Justine, or staying weird hours in the Engine room, then curling up in bed playing tap games on his slate, wrapped up in blankets. But the delight of dinner is still too novel to be easily cast aside, so Hakkai can reliably expect him to emerge for it.
He wraps an arm around Hakkai's waist, face tipped up for the kiss, then presses it against Hakkai's chest for a moment.
"Course," he mumbles.
He wraps an arm around Hakkai's waist, face tipped up for the kiss, then presses it against Hakkai's chest for a moment.
"Course," he mumbles.
[ It's a combination of things.
Mostly it's just not knowing much about Jedao and Eiffel's relationship. He knew there was one, given Eiffel's location at all the parties, but he had no idea of what it meant or how they felt about one another and they never really discussed it. Sometimes he wonders if his friends thinks he doesn't care about the rest of their lives because he's so careful with what he asks, how he tries not to delve.
That's a different problem and not the one that's really relevant now.
There was some rawness, rawness that wasn't Jedao's problem and wasn't, in some ways, his business. Rawness that he found another solution for. But John's pretty good about his emotions once there's been some action on them, once they've seen light, so it's a lot less about that.
Mostly it's the 'not knowing what's welcome' thing. So yeah, he waits.
But eventually, he will paint something small, postcard sized, something with dark stars and shifting galaxies, something that somehow carries the music of the spheres within it and he'll put it in an envelope and label it specifically for Jedao and place it next to his door. On the back of it is written: ]
I hope everything is okay. Let me know if I can help. I love you. - John Doe
Mostly it's just not knowing much about Jedao and Eiffel's relationship. He knew there was one, given Eiffel's location at all the parties, but he had no idea of what it meant or how they felt about one another and they never really discussed it. Sometimes he wonders if his friends thinks he doesn't care about the rest of their lives because he's so careful with what he asks, how he tries not to delve.
That's a different problem and not the one that's really relevant now.
There was some rawness, rawness that wasn't Jedao's problem and wasn't, in some ways, his business. Rawness that he found another solution for. But John's pretty good about his emotions once there's been some action on them, once they've seen light, so it's a lot less about that.
Mostly it's the 'not knowing what's welcome' thing. So yeah, he waits.
But eventually, he will paint something small, postcard sized, something with dark stars and shifting galaxies, something that somehow carries the music of the spheres within it and he'll put it in an envelope and label it specifically for Jedao and place it next to his door. On the back of it is written: ]
I hope everything is okay. Let me know if I can help. I love you. - John Doe
[He left, for a minute or less, barge time, but he was exhausted when he came back, emotionally more than any effort it had taken to pop Pryce's head like a grape. Eiffel hadn't liked it, but he was going, going where Jedao couldn't look after him, so he didn't get a say about what Jedao did instead.
He's come out for duty, to check on Justine and putter about in the Engine Room, caring for the barge and letting her hum, gently, around him. But then he's mostly gone back to his room and curled up in quiet, like he used to do when he was injured, like some other part of him was still rebuilding itself.
He stares at the card for a long time, trying to find words that stick in his throat. And he doesn't write a nice note back, because - it feels like too much, having to put his face on to go deliver it. So the answer is just on the comms, when it comes.]
im just really sad
i dont know how to talk about it
He's come out for duty, to check on Justine and putter about in the Engine Room, caring for the barge and letting her hum, gently, around him. But then he's mostly gone back to his room and curled up in quiet, like he used to do when he was injured, like some other part of him was still rebuilding itself.
He stares at the card for a long time, trying to find words that stick in his throat. And he doesn't write a nice note back, because - it feels like too much, having to put his face on to go deliver it. So the answer is just on the comms, when it comes.]
im just really sad
i dont know how to talk about it
[Cloud's words are casual enough, but his tone is subdued.]
Hey. Nico and I were working on a project, for the Engine Room. Still got all his notes, but I'm no programmer, so...guess it's finished for the time being. Wanna show it to you sometime, if you got a minute.
Hey. Nico and I were working on a project, for the Engine Room. Still got all his notes, but I'm no programmer, so...guess it's finished for the time being. Wanna show it to you sometime, if you got a minute.
I'm not on Nico's level, but I can take a crack at it, depended on how much effort he put into encrypting the notes. Where should I come to see it?
Zerxus has spent quite a lot of this vacation in the water. He didn't expect that, going in, but it's an easy way to anchor himself to the present: the physicality of swimming against the current, the flooding of his senses with an alien sea. That there are people to swim with - that's not something he'll ever take for granted.
It may well be perfectly normal for Jedao not to surface when a human should, considering. But there's no reason not to kick off the ship and dive back under, just to make sure; he can see so easily in the water now, and it takes a while for his lungs to start burning.
It may well be perfectly normal for Jedao not to surface when a human should, considering. But there's no reason not to kick off the ship and dive back under, just to make sure; he can see so easily in the water now, and it takes a while for his lungs to start burning.
Jedao sometimes isn't visibly moving, either, just floating somewhere thirty or forty feet down, peering into the deeper depths, watching schools of fish draw closer as he avoids startling them.
He feels Zerxus coming, though, and turns in the water to see him.
He feels Zerxus coming, though, and turns in the water to see him.
{He is on the island, not wearing...much of anything. Except a white bandage on his arm, which is slowly turning red.}
I have you to thank for looking after me. {...is he thanking him? Maybe.} Have you survived?
I have you to thank for looking after me. {...is he thanking him? Maybe.} Have you survived?
The initial message goes unanswered, lost when Jedao's communicator is smashed along with the rest of him, and unlike Jedao, it has no regenerative properties. His item, too. However, two days after they descend onto the Island, Jedao finds him.
Jedao still has large swathes of his body palette-swapped into a deep, light-swallowing blackness, neither matte nor glossy. He's found a mylar blanket somewhere, and made a decently neat hipwrap out of it, but the bright silver of the wrap only contrasts all the more vividly with the chunks of his body that look like resinous concentrations of starless outer void.
"Jun Wu! You made it!"
"
Jedao still has large swathes of his body palette-swapped into a deep, light-swallowing blackness, neither matte nor glossy. He's found a mylar blanket somewhere, and made a decently neat hipwrap out of it, but the bright silver of the wrap only contrasts all the more vividly with the chunks of his body that look like resinous concentrations of starless outer void.
"Jun Wu! You made it!"
"
Hello! You work in the Engine Room, right?
[ who the hell is this teenager and why the hell is she cold-calling Jedao ]
[ who the hell is this teenager and why the hell is she cold-calling Jedao ]
I do.
[One way to find out!!]
[One way to find out!!]
At least what he was working on before they got to port and everything went wrong is still safely tucked away in his cabin. His cabin, which now looks out onto the empty cosmos in all directions from its glass walls. His cabin, where he's set up grow lights on timers and reassured his plants that they'll be okay and the mountain was never real anyway. The mountain was never real anyway. It doesn't matter that he never got to see fall.
But the problem with going to port and then everything going wrong is that the present he was working on for Jedao isn't done. It's half-done, but...
It took him so long to get John's presents figured out, he wants to do something special on the right date for once. Which is why he is knocking on Jedao's door with a small, wrapped package, trying not to look as upset as he feels.
But the problem with going to port and then everything going wrong is that the present he was working on for Jedao isn't done. It's half-done, but...
It took him so long to get John's presents figured out, he wants to do something special on the right date for once. Which is why he is knocking on Jedao's door with a small, wrapped package, trying not to look as upset as he feels.
Because it's Edwin, the doors open instantly, and Jedao is coming to meet him, even though there are still seams of black across part of his face, more hidden under the more normal black of his hair. He's himself, though, a little tired around the eyes, smiling soft and warm to see Edwin.
"Morning, sunshine," he says softly, reach to pull him into a hug.
"Morning, sunshine," he says softly, reach to pull him into a hug.
Jedao.
I know I am no position to ask for favors, but I think this will help. A friend of mine has showed me an..iPod? It is a music box that plays all manner of songs with some form of magic.
May I have something of that sort?
It quiets the noise in my head when I can't think.
I know I am no position to ask for favors, but I think this will help. A friend of mine has showed me an..iPod? It is a music box that plays all manner of songs with some form of magic.
May I have something of that sort?
It quiets the noise in my head when I can't think.
I'm not familiar with that format either - would they be willing to show it to me, so that I understand what you'd like?
Hey Jedao, you work the Engine. [It's as much a statement as a blindingly awkward question.] Can I get your opinion on some, like... technical stuff? I think?
I'll do my best. What's the issue?
Thank you for your unexpected gifts, Jedao.
Please tell me what you desire in return. And I understand the nature of gifts, but I wish to reciprocate regardless.
Please tell me what you desire in return. And I understand the nature of gifts, but I wish to reciprocate regardless.
"I would like to play pattern-stones with you. And I'd like a game from your world - your own culture, if you're willing - that says something about the people who play it."
The way Thrawn looks at art is how the Shuos have always considered games.
The way Thrawn looks at art is how the Shuos have always considered games.
Edwin has a notebook, one of the spares from his Christmas bundles, and it's nearly filled. He's pacing Jedao's living room area whenever his dad gets back to his cabin. It's not the first time Edwin's come over since Jedao left Zero, but it's the first time he hasn't been focused on fussing over his dad.
As soon as Jedao enters, he looks up from the notebook and a fresh page of scribbling.
"How do you write a speech?"
As soon as Jedao enters, he looks up from the notebook and a fresh page of scribbling.
"How do you write a speech?"
Re: backdated to mid-december, post-brainwashing fallout
deuceoftears
2025-01-08 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
"I must confess, I have never prepared a speech in my life," he admits.
He used to just get up in front of the troops and open his mouth, with no idea what insane provocations would fall out.
He used to just get up in front of the troops and open his mouth, with no idea what insane provocations would fall out.
So? Did you find out I was right that we're basically doing okay? Me and Justine, I mean. That we've found a level. You were going to look into it.
...stars, you really believe that, don't you?
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